All the blogs I follow haven't been updated for a year. =\
I think it's because it's a bit isolated, really. There really isn't much of a sense of community at all. I think that may be important?
Anyway, I'm desperately bored. So I am writing on this because I have no one to talk to.
Why is no one on skype? Actually no one.
I mean, I don't honestly care about the fact that there is no one because I cannot talk to anyone, I mean I care because I only want to talk to one person and I haven't talked to her in about a week. Probably over a week. And she isn't online. And since the start of holidays I keep just staying on the internet whiling away the hours in a bored stupor and she never comes online and I have had Beatles songs stuck in my head for about three days straight. Incessantly. Just all these different songs changing but never leaving. And she's the only person I talk to on skype and the only reason I keep skype open pretty much perpetually.
And I dyed my hair red. It's cool.
I need social interaction with my friends okay
I'm going insane, also.
I'm turning in to Niles Crane. Well actually I already have. Hmm.
fucking hell fucking hell fucking hell.
The most tiny things can drive me insane! I don't mean that in a negative way; it's just something I've learned. It doesn't take much to put me in a complete state of delirious delight.
I mean. It takes next to NOTHING. The tiniest, most miniscule thing and I'll be a mess. Complete mess all over the place. Total nutter. Utterly hopeless.
It has been eight months. Of not knowing. And of confusion. And of over-analysing and trying to look at things in a non-biased, non-judgemental, totally neutral point of view, which is of course completely hopeless because I am in no way non-biased or non-judgemental, my judgement is clouded completely by my own delusions and thoughts and obsessions etc.
God help me.
Seriously. HELP ME. I'M A MESS. A TOTAL UTTER WRECK THAT KEEPS DYING AND MELTING AND EXPLODING AND GRINNING AND DYING AGAIN AND OH GOD HELP ME. HELP ME.
THROW ME A FUCKING BONE, HERE! I CANNOT TAKE ANYTHING AS EVIDENCE, THIS IS UTTERLY VITAL. I NEED SOMETHING REALLY FUCKING OBVIOUS BEFORE I WILL LET MYSELF THINK, THINK AT ALL THAT THERE MIGHT BE A CHANCE OF SUCH A THING HAPPENING.
THOUGH I DOUBT IT. I really fucking do. I'm so completely utterly incomparably inadequate.
and I want to say just as much, I want to say everything, but I refuse to because I believe that even the slightest hint will be too obvious.
Though, honestly? At this point in time? I think it's probably pretty fucking obvious, the way I've been behaving. (Ie like a completely infatuated idiot.)
And yet.
What happens if I'm wrong.
Then I'm just really fucking screwed because there's no way this can be anything other than disastrous.
I just wish I knew. I don't want much, really. I just. I just. I just.
I mean, god, if I'm not wrong, then I will look like a massive creep of an obsessive lunatic.
Hmm. Hmmrightwell. Hmm hmm hmmmmmmmmm.
What in the everloving name of fuck should I do?
Showing posts with label confusion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confusion. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
you know what
the good thing about this blog is?
that no one reads it.
I could say whatever the hell I wanted here and it would pretty much be okay.
So.
Um.
Basically.
It is really bad to be a person who reads subtext in to everything.
Because it makes you incapable of interacting with other humans in any way shape or form.
oh god.
oh god oh god what is my life.
Honestly this is just bizarre.
This whole year has been bizarre.
I can't.
I'm just a bit freaked out and just a bit delighted and mad with insanity and just a little bit stupid and I wonder what it's like to not sleep for days on end? I mean you can only survive ten days without sleep.
But I mean what if you went three days without sleep
I don't even see how that would be possible.
I just need sleep. I need it like oxygen.
Isn't it weird how a lack of sleep can make you feel? It's so fascinating how important it is.
Because when you don't sleep you are basically screwed. And it particularly makes your mouth feel all funny. and your hair pretty awful. And gives you a general sense of feeling incredibly unhygienic. And your head feels like it's been pounded with a block of cheese. It's really bizarre. And what's more frustrating is that often during the night you wont even feel tired any more. You will feel so tired that you will feel awake again.
This year is indeed a strange thing to behold. I have lost the plot.
And I can measure in hours of lost sleep the development of my insanity through the year.
And.
Perhaps.
Some twisted form of progress.
I don't even know what the fuck that means. But it's interesting to think that in term one holidays my mind was perpetrated and perpetuated by these thoughts. Curious, indeed! And to think I was still in denial then, and yet; still bizarrely intending for madness.
And now here we are in the epitome of madness.
I really rather like it.
and this has been a highly ambiguous post.
that no one reads it.
I could say whatever the hell I wanted here and it would pretty much be okay.
So.
Um.
Basically.
It is really bad to be a person who reads subtext in to everything.
Because it makes you incapable of interacting with other humans in any way shape or form.
oh god.
oh god oh god what is my life.
Honestly this is just bizarre.
This whole year has been bizarre.
I can't.
I'm just a bit freaked out and just a bit delighted and mad with insanity and just a little bit stupid and I wonder what it's like to not sleep for days on end? I mean you can only survive ten days without sleep.
But I mean what if you went three days without sleep
I don't even see how that would be possible.
I just need sleep. I need it like oxygen.
Isn't it weird how a lack of sleep can make you feel? It's so fascinating how important it is.
Because when you don't sleep you are basically screwed. And it particularly makes your mouth feel all funny. and your hair pretty awful. And gives you a general sense of feeling incredibly unhygienic. And your head feels like it's been pounded with a block of cheese. It's really bizarre. And what's more frustrating is that often during the night you wont even feel tired any more. You will feel so tired that you will feel awake again.
This year is indeed a strange thing to behold. I have lost the plot.
And I can measure in hours of lost sleep the development of my insanity through the year.
And.
Perhaps.
Some twisted form of progress.
I don't even know what the fuck that means. But it's interesting to think that in term one holidays my mind was perpetrated and perpetuated by these thoughts. Curious, indeed! And to think I was still in denial then, and yet; still bizarrely intending for madness.
And now here we are in the epitome of madness.
I really rather like it.
and this has been a highly ambiguous post.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
and I've seen all I'll ever need
It is really strange.
Last year I used this blog copious amounts. And the year before that. And now I'm just like "no sorry."
I'm really not sure why.
I feel pretty bad about it. I mean I can actually use this blog, really; it's got a funky style and it's sort of pseudo-sophisticated and no one really knows about it either. Oh, the dilemma! I don't understand the world.
Listening to Muse as usual. Though I haven't been listening to them that much recently- I've been in one of my "listening to everything ever" moods re:music, in which I have gone from Radiohead to The Horrors, from Florence to Neutral Milk Hotel and from Arcade Fire to Pink Floyd and The XX. Just sort of flitting around them.
But of course I always return to Muse, without fail.
Listening to Space Dementia. God I love this song.
This has been a strange year. It has been a year completely undocumented by blogspot.
and of course, when I'm just about to start a big pensive blog post my parents are all 'GO TO BED'.
typical.
okay. I'll go then. Maybe I'll save it for another day.
(But I'll try write some now before I properly have to go.)
Right. Anyway. This year.
It has gone impossibly, ridiculously, frighteningly fast.
There was the start of this year- fresh ideas and thoughts and music and words.
There was the obsession with Sherlock Holmes, mixed with the obsession with The Horrors. There was House of Leaves, and the thoughts and the summery days, and the Big Day Out with Muse and The Horrors and the smell of smoke.
There was the constant playing of Horses, the album by Patti Smith in the car for a long time throughout the year. There was the madness of everything at the beginning. I have a very powerful nostalgia for the start of the year. Which is weird, but I do. I really miss it, because I feel like this year has just slipped through my fingers; at the same time as is has been a really long year, with so many events, it feels like it's been about five days in my life compressed in to a confusing dream, a blur of images and memories and music and some really fucked up thoughts.
There have been all my freak outs and panics and fainting in public and crying in public and my developed fears of things, and my paranoia, and my obsessive intrusive thought processes, thoughts that began at the start of the year and culminated in May the goddamn fucking 12th; two days later, May 15th; the freakout, two days after that, going to see Iron Man 2 with Alice, completely freaking out, then talking with her, then freaking out to an extent I never thought possible.
Thus leading to the supposed acceptance of the intrusive thoughts. Which, I suppose, was a good thing; if I continued in the vein of 'NO STOP THINKING THAT' I suppose it would have culminated in my going completely batshit insane. Now I just have some really awkward emotions to contend with; ones that certainly still make me hate myself, but, you know, I can deal with it.
So. It's been a really weird year. It's definitely been a significant year. I'm certain this will stick out in my memories for all the weird events that have happened. It's been a mixture of really great things and really crap things- I've been feeling really awful about myself a lot more than usual, this year- and completely losing any interest in school I might have previously had. School is just utter tedium now. Boring, every single day, every single hour of the day is utterly boring. And I am tired, constantly. And tend to feel miserable every day. And generally I keep feeling utter hatred towards myself, and my complete inability to do anything worthwhile, or to succeed particularly well in anything. I just feel hopeless and I'm not sure how to change things in order to be better. I just can't do it. So I simply hide away in the world of procrastination. Fortunately there are a lot of things out there that make me feel a bit better. I've become quite obsessed with Monty Python this year. That is a great thing. I'm really glad about that.
And as you can see, it is the night, and whenever it's the night I get really glum and morose and everything I write is like BAWW BAWW what is life. Also I'm listening to Citizen Erased by Muse. Oh god I love this album so much. Origin of Symmetry is just incredible, okay? I miss Muse. I miss them. Which is ridiculous, I suppose, but I am just so sad that I missed so much of their life- 2001,2002, the mad insane years, 2003, 2004 with Absolution, then BH&R- I found out all of this after the fact- and as such, ten years of Muse have been compressed in to about two years of learning about them with me. I wish I could have known about them when I was a tiny kid. Impossible, really. How could I have possibly become a mad fan of Muse at the age of seven? Holy shit. I was seven when Origin Of Symmetry came out.
What. The. Fuck.
I just cannot comprehend the world.
I really truly cannot.
Oh god this song is amazing.
Citizen Erased. You are amazing.
Last year I used this blog copious amounts. And the year before that. And now I'm just like "no sorry."
I'm really not sure why.
I feel pretty bad about it. I mean I can actually use this blog, really; it's got a funky style and it's sort of pseudo-sophisticated and no one really knows about it either. Oh, the dilemma! I don't understand the world.
Listening to Muse as usual. Though I haven't been listening to them that much recently- I've been in one of my "listening to everything ever" moods re:music, in which I have gone from Radiohead to The Horrors, from Florence to Neutral Milk Hotel and from Arcade Fire to Pink Floyd and The XX. Just sort of flitting around them.
But of course I always return to Muse, without fail.
Listening to Space Dementia. God I love this song.
This has been a strange year. It has been a year completely undocumented by blogspot.
and of course, when I'm just about to start a big pensive blog post my parents are all 'GO TO BED'.
typical.
okay. I'll go then. Maybe I'll save it for another day.
(But I'll try write some now before I properly have to go.)
Right. Anyway. This year.
It has gone impossibly, ridiculously, frighteningly fast.
There was the start of this year- fresh ideas and thoughts and music and words.
There was the obsession with Sherlock Holmes, mixed with the obsession with The Horrors. There was House of Leaves, and the thoughts and the summery days, and the Big Day Out with Muse and The Horrors and the smell of smoke.
There was the constant playing of Horses, the album by Patti Smith in the car for a long time throughout the year. There was the madness of everything at the beginning. I have a very powerful nostalgia for the start of the year. Which is weird, but I do. I really miss it, because I feel like this year has just slipped through my fingers; at the same time as is has been a really long year, with so many events, it feels like it's been about five days in my life compressed in to a confusing dream, a blur of images and memories and music and some really fucked up thoughts.
There have been all my freak outs and panics and fainting in public and crying in public and my developed fears of things, and my paranoia, and my obsessive intrusive thought processes, thoughts that began at the start of the year and culminated in May the goddamn fucking 12th; two days later, May 15th; the freakout, two days after that, going to see Iron Man 2 with Alice, completely freaking out, then talking with her, then freaking out to an extent I never thought possible.
Thus leading to the supposed acceptance of the intrusive thoughts. Which, I suppose, was a good thing; if I continued in the vein of 'NO STOP THINKING THAT' I suppose it would have culminated in my going completely batshit insane. Now I just have some really awkward emotions to contend with; ones that certainly still make me hate myself, but, you know, I can deal with it.
So. It's been a really weird year. It's definitely been a significant year. I'm certain this will stick out in my memories for all the weird events that have happened. It's been a mixture of really great things and really crap things- I've been feeling really awful about myself a lot more than usual, this year- and completely losing any interest in school I might have previously had. School is just utter tedium now. Boring, every single day, every single hour of the day is utterly boring. And I am tired, constantly. And tend to feel miserable every day. And generally I keep feeling utter hatred towards myself, and my complete inability to do anything worthwhile, or to succeed particularly well in anything. I just feel hopeless and I'm not sure how to change things in order to be better. I just can't do it. So I simply hide away in the world of procrastination. Fortunately there are a lot of things out there that make me feel a bit better. I've become quite obsessed with Monty Python this year. That is a great thing. I'm really glad about that.
And as you can see, it is the night, and whenever it's the night I get really glum and morose and everything I write is like BAWW BAWW what is life. Also I'm listening to Citizen Erased by Muse. Oh god I love this album so much. Origin of Symmetry is just incredible, okay? I miss Muse. I miss them. Which is ridiculous, I suppose, but I am just so sad that I missed so much of their life- 2001,2002, the mad insane years, 2003, 2004 with Absolution, then BH&R- I found out all of this after the fact- and as such, ten years of Muse have been compressed in to about two years of learning about them with me. I wish I could have known about them when I was a tiny kid. Impossible, really. How could I have possibly become a mad fan of Muse at the age of seven? Holy shit. I was seven when Origin Of Symmetry came out.
What. The. Fuck.
I just cannot comprehend the world.
I really truly cannot.
Oh god this song is amazing.
Citizen Erased. You are amazing.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Dear blogspot,
I like Livejournal more than you.
AGAIN.
I'm fickle on the wind yeah.
GOT ICONS
GOT COLOUR
GOT COMMUNITIES
GOT FIC
YOU GOT WORDS
AND QUIET UNASSUMING FASCINATIONS.
And if you ever see a journal hanging around that might belong to me... it's not me.
Plz to not be blackmailing/reading/assuming.
CEASE AND DESIST.
Don't listen to a word she says.
I'll write what I like.
AGAIN.
I'm fickle on the wind yeah.
GOT ICONS
GOT COLOUR
GOT COMMUNITIES
GOT FIC
YOU GOT WORDS
AND QUIET UNASSUMING FASCINATIONS.
And if you ever see a journal hanging around that might belong to me... it's not me.
Plz to not be blackmailing/reading/assuming.
CEASE AND DESIST.
Don't listen to a word she says.
I'll write what I like.
Monday, February 1, 2010
What are these things? KEEP RUNNING!
Okay so on fandomsecrets today there was a secret about some random 30 second video and someone linked to it and I don't even know what it's about (left for dead, apparently) and I'm just listening to it on repeat over and over and over again because it repeats automatically, and it's just... hypnotic. It's completely stupid and I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT and I think I'm probably going to go insane soon but I just can't stop listening to it. I mean when I stopped listening to it before, I kind of went..."oh. It's quiet. What now?"
So um. That's what I'm doing today, other than going through these friending and anon memes and feeling annoyed that I was late to the party which I always am *sigh!*
And also here is the video of complete strangeness that I don't understand at all:http://unomastiempo.deviantart.com/art/coach-the-movie-147404325
Um. So yeah.
One man cheeseburger apocalypse.
So um. That's what I'm doing today, other than going through these friending and anon memes and feeling annoyed that I was late to the party which I always am *sigh!*
And also here is the video of complete strangeness that I don't understand at all:http://unomastiempo.deviantart.com/art/coach-the-movie-147404325
Um. So yeah.
One man cheeseburger apocalypse.
Friday, January 29, 2010
It's not you, it's me!
So hey Blogger.
We need to talk.
There's...someone else. No, they're an old friend of mine. Yeah, you might have heard me talk about them- yes, I know I said they were stupid and lame and that you were better, but... lately, I'm not so sure.
It's just... I need something more, you know? I need to know that it's long-lasting. I want this to work. Really, I do. I'm willing to work on it as long as you are. But you know... I have known Livejournal for a lot longer than I've known you. There's something comforting about them. No, I'm not cheating on you, okay?! I did basically abandon LJ for you, so you could at least be a little grateful!
I just have a different dynamic with LJ, okay? And a different dynamic with you, too. I just want to be able to spend an equal amount of time with both of you. I know you two probably wont ever get along, but hey. You will just have to DEAL WITH IT.
*cough*
anyway! Do I have anything else to say right now? No, because the computer is going to be taken away in approx. 2 minutes.
......YESTERDAY I- SORRY, WE- GOT A RECORD PLAYER. IT'S GREEN.
ADFASGHAOGIFHADFKLHJADOFHIAHIH!!!!!
THAT IS ALL
We need to talk.
There's...someone else. No, they're an old friend of mine. Yeah, you might have heard me talk about them- yes, I know I said they were stupid and lame and that you were better, but... lately, I'm not so sure.
It's just... I need something more, you know? I need to know that it's long-lasting. I want this to work. Really, I do. I'm willing to work on it as long as you are. But you know... I have known Livejournal for a lot longer than I've known you. There's something comforting about them. No, I'm not cheating on you, okay?! I did basically abandon LJ for you, so you could at least be a little grateful!
I just have a different dynamic with LJ, okay? And a different dynamic with you, too. I just want to be able to spend an equal amount of time with both of you. I know you two probably wont ever get along, but hey. You will just have to DEAL WITH IT.
*cough*
anyway! Do I have anything else to say right now? No, because the computer is going to be taken away in approx. 2 minutes.
......YESTERDAY I- SORRY, WE- GOT A RECORD PLAYER. IT'S GREEN.
ADFASGHAOGIFHADFKLHJADOFHIAHIH!!!!!
THAT IS ALL
Monday, January 18, 2010
John Paul, you my main man
HELP, I'm still an utterly paranoid lunatic looner nutcase psychopath
okay I'm not a psychopath but I am an utterly paranoid loser. I need someone to slap me,I need a general in the military, to slap me and shout "GET YO ACT TOGETHER, YOU LITTLE MAGGOT!! AIN'T NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, OR YOUR PATHETIC LIFE! DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!!!"
And then kick me so I fall over while trying to do twenty pushups
...actually I'm not really sure how this will help me get over my paranoia
is there anything you can do to stop being paranoid? It's completely irrational. But I can't heeeeeeeeeeeelp it. Heeeeeeeelp me!
You know, I think I know what helped me to become paranoid. THE SCHOOL. WITH THEIR CLAIMS OF WATCHING YOU WHEN YOU USE YOUR COMPUTER. SPYING ON YOU. ALL. THE DAMN. TIME.
THAT is why I am so paranoid. It's not like I'm looking up "how to blow up your school" on google or anything, I'm just paranoid! Like I said, it IS irrational, so yeah. But I think I can fairly say that's one of the causes for my paranoia. I mean it's not like anyone CARES what I'm doing (irrational, remember) but I can't but help think that I'll go "I TOTALLY think there should be Tony Harrison/Saboo fanfiction" and look it up for the lolz, and someone will be spying on me and go "WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS PERSON, ARREST HER IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!"
Also... I don't think I want Tony Harrison/Saboo fanfiction. That sounds...disturbing as hell, because you know, Tony Harrison is a pink bladder with tentacles. So.
The paranoia only happens when I feel particularly stupid about something, something I feel inherently embarrassed about because god knows why. So it's EVEN MORE STUPID, because I'm not paranoid ALL THE TIME, just some of the time. It's getting ridiculous.
Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
A peculiar coincidence happened today (I guess it wasn't reeeeeeeaally a coincidence, but it did strike me as rather peculiar.)
oh, yeah, and the Big Day Out was that thing that happened the other day? Yeah.
The Horrors, you guys! We were right up the front, it was most excellent. Although I didn't actually know any of their songs really, it was still cool, and the crowd was a bit crazy, I was practically falling over a lot of the time.
Anyway, I think I sat down for about, 45 minutes? In the course of the whole day? And it was a long day. And my feet were dead. The day after, I could barely walk. BUT! I have made a full recovery, hurrah hooray.
And of course there was MUSE.
MUSE YOU GUYS
Oh god they were so wonderful. I was in the D area, but quite far to the back, and there were lots of tall people and my vision was rather impaired by their height. Which was sucky and lame, I didn't get to see Chris headbanging like a lunatic, or Matt playing the guitar behind his head in Plug In Baby, or leaning against the amp, or doing a little floor slide, etc, etc.
BUT it was still great and wonderful and delightful, and they played Nishe, I mean wow. I was just listening to that now. XD
And I have ~*~officially~*~ scrobbled Muse 2000 times! I've listened to them more than that, but you know, that proves it's the bare minimum. XD
ANYWAY someone on the Muse boards (actually the guy I got my resistance boxset from, whoo!) said that if they returned it would probably be in November or December. OH PLEASE BE TRUE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (let me get what I want)
So yeah, they must return immediately. Ie in twelve months, whatever. So that I can arrive early, and get an excellent spot in the pit of mosh. So I can see everything, and be close to the front yet still able to jump up and down. (The jumping up and down at BDO was aweeeesome. So much fun!)
ANYWAY. I think that's all I have to report for now. I've been all obsessive and internet lurking as usual, and of course I have no one to uh, "squee" with, you know, because of that whole paranoia/embarrassment thing I have going on. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE IT COMES FROM, GUYS. I'M JUST...INHERENTLY EMBARRASSED ABOUT SOME THINGS, AND NOT OTHERS!! WHAT THE HELL?!
Guysssssss help me stop being paranoid, ookay?!?!
Also. My laptop is a pile of crap. It keeps
ELECTROCUTING ME
WHAT THE HELL
THIS IS BOLLOCKS
piece of junk. Stupid dells. Never buy a dell. They're crap okay.
Now, have this super awesome comic by Kate Beaton, who is also awesome. I think you should click on it. Okay.
Also: JAM!
okay I'm not a psychopath but I am an utterly paranoid loser. I need someone to slap me,I need a general in the military, to slap me and shout "GET YO ACT TOGETHER, YOU LITTLE MAGGOT!! AIN'T NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, OR YOUR PATHETIC LIFE! DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!!!"
And then kick me so I fall over while trying to do twenty pushups
...actually I'm not really sure how this will help me get over my paranoia
is there anything you can do to stop being paranoid? It's completely irrational. But I can't heeeeeeeeeeeelp it. Heeeeeeeelp me!
You know, I think I know what helped me to become paranoid. THE SCHOOL. WITH THEIR CLAIMS OF WATCHING YOU WHEN YOU USE YOUR COMPUTER. SPYING ON YOU. ALL. THE DAMN. TIME.
THAT is why I am so paranoid. It's not like I'm looking up "how to blow up your school" on google or anything, I'm just paranoid! Like I said, it IS irrational, so yeah. But I think I can fairly say that's one of the causes for my paranoia. I mean it's not like anyone CARES what I'm doing (irrational, remember) but I can't but help think that I'll go "I TOTALLY think there should be Tony Harrison/Saboo fanfiction" and look it up for the lolz, and someone will be spying on me and go "WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS PERSON, ARREST HER IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!"
Also... I don't think I want Tony Harrison/Saboo fanfiction. That sounds...disturbing as hell, because you know, Tony Harrison is a pink bladder with tentacles. So.
The paranoia only happens when I feel particularly stupid about something, something I feel inherently embarrassed about because god knows why. So it's EVEN MORE STUPID, because I'm not paranoid ALL THE TIME, just some of the time. It's getting ridiculous.
Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
A peculiar coincidence happened today (I guess it wasn't reeeeeeeaally a coincidence, but it did strike me as rather peculiar.)
oh, yeah, and the Big Day Out was that thing that happened the other day? Yeah.
The Horrors, you guys! We were right up the front, it was most excellent. Although I didn't actually know any of their songs really, it was still cool, and the crowd was a bit crazy, I was practically falling over a lot of the time.
Anyway, I think I sat down for about, 45 minutes? In the course of the whole day? And it was a long day. And my feet were dead. The day after, I could barely walk. BUT! I have made a full recovery, hurrah hooray.
And of course there was MUSE.
MUSE YOU GUYS
Oh god they were so wonderful. I was in the D area, but quite far to the back, and there were lots of tall people and my vision was rather impaired by their height. Which was sucky and lame, I didn't get to see Chris headbanging like a lunatic, or Matt playing the guitar behind his head in Plug In Baby, or leaning against the amp, or doing a little floor slide, etc, etc.
BUT it was still great and wonderful and delightful, and they played Nishe, I mean wow. I was just listening to that now. XD
And I have ~*~officially~*~ scrobbled Muse 2000 times! I've listened to them more than that, but you know, that proves it's the bare minimum. XD
ANYWAY someone on the Muse boards (actually the guy I got my resistance boxset from, whoo!) said that if they returned it would probably be in November or December. OH PLEASE BE TRUE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (let me get what I want)
So yeah, they must return immediately. Ie in twelve months, whatever. So that I can arrive early, and get an excellent spot in the pit of mosh. So I can see everything, and be close to the front yet still able to jump up and down. (The jumping up and down at BDO was aweeeesome. So much fun!)
ANYWAY. I think that's all I have to report for now. I've been all obsessive and internet lurking as usual, and of course I have no one to uh, "squee" with, you know, because of that whole paranoia/embarrassment thing I have going on. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE IT COMES FROM, GUYS. I'M JUST...INHERENTLY EMBARRASSED ABOUT SOME THINGS, AND NOT OTHERS!! WHAT THE HELL?!
Guysssssss help me stop being paranoid, ookay?!?!
Also. My laptop is a pile of crap. It keeps
ELECTROCUTING ME
WHAT THE HELL
THIS IS BOLLOCKS
piece of junk. Stupid dells. Never buy a dell. They're crap okay.
Now, have this super awesome comic by Kate Beaton, who is also awesome. I think you should click on it. Okay.
Also: JAM!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Ohhhhhh god
Amongst other things, I don't think I'll ever quite be able to understand the Supernatural fandom. And... other fandoms, of a similar bent, or, fans...who... ship things...like...that.
*whimpers*
I might change my layout again.
...
Seriously, though. That's just
so
wrong
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sure, you can be all "well, if it's two responsible adults then I have no problem with it!"
but you know, if they're fictional and it is quite clear that such a situation would not have them acting in such a manner, well I think it's fairly understandable that someone would be squicked.
I just... wow.
They're quite serious, too!
...I have to go now.
Oh, also? A 41 second video, and now I want to watch Star Trek. That was honestly all it took. Oh boy. XD
*whimpers*
I might change my layout again.
...
Seriously, though. That's just
so
wrong
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sure, you can be all "well, if it's two responsible adults then I have no problem with it!"
but you know, if they're fictional and it is quite clear that such a situation would not have them acting in such a manner, well I think it's fairly understandable that someone would be squicked.
I just... wow.
They're quite serious, too!
...I have to go now.
Oh, also? A 41 second video, and now I want to watch Star Trek. That was honestly all it took. Oh boy. XD
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Une annee sans lumiere
I am STILL amazed by how fast 2009 went.
Seriously? A little feedback, anyone? What did you think? There are five of you who follow this blog, surely you at least read it? Okay, it's probably just me who spends every waking hour in a world that doesn't physically exist.
It's just gone. SNAP! CRACKLE! POP!
Vanished. But I've already gone over this.
But my memories of 2008 seem more vivid than this year. Perhaps it's because this year, it was a good year, but a lot of it was spend in mind-numbingly boring situations- I had a lot of classes with no friends in them, or people who I knew quite well but didn't sit with or talk with or whatever. Thus making them boring. Especially maths. Oh god. Worst. Subject. Ever. Not only am I atrociously bad at it, I sat by myself the entire year. OH GODDDDDDDDD You could pick me from a mile away as being an epic loser. /o\
French was okay, but it was always in the morning and freezing cold, and it was in the stupid French room that gives off a large, cold, unfeeling atmosphere. Anyway, it was okay, just not riveting or memorable, you know? The classes you remember are engaging and interesting, with your friends there to talk with and get yelled at and have jokes with, etc etc. So, English, Writing and Spanish were probably the most memorable subjects.
Basically, it was a good year, but event-free, making it kind of... well, it was just a passing sequence of days in which similar things happened. Yeah it was a good year, and I enjoyed it and had lots of good times, but when I think about it, the first thing that comes up is a blank slate, and only after thinking for a while am I able to recollect things that happened. I'm not saying it was a bad year! I must stress that- but there was a lot of nothingness along with the good stuff.
So yeah
that's all, I guess. I am going a bit insane, stuck in the house all day, getting up at eleven, only getting ready for the day at 12.00, sitting on the floor, downloading icons... why? What on earth is my obsession with 100x100 pixel boxes? I don't know, but they're AWESOME. But you know, I wouldn't mind at all getting out of here- I could do it myself, but there's nothing interesting around here. And because I'm just sitting around, I expend little energy, so I stay up later and later, and get up later and later and get more tired and so on and so forth... BLAH.
But hey it's the night, and I always tend to get pessimistic then, it's not all as bad as that... just boring. I want to run around and have a band practice, I want to hang out at Lucy's house (I have this thing where I just really, really want to hang out there all the time. It exudes creativity from its very core! Or...something.)
I want to spend time in the sunshine, in the grass, with FRIENDS.
But then most of them are heading to exotic places, or are currently in exotic places, and here I am at home again.
Still, I've been to places before. I remember- wait I've said all this before too! But I still really really really fondly recall going to New Plymouth. I don't even know WHY. I just love love love love love the memories of it. It's not like anything AMAZING happened- maybe that's why. It was just the niceness of a new place, and of course, that playlist. That I listened to a lot, and brings up strong epic memories.
It's 2010? I just don't even know. It's going so fast.
Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time.... BLAH
I WANT TO GO ON ADVENTURES
I WANT TO RUN AROUND
I WANT TO PUNCH BAD GUYS IN THE FACE
WHO'S UP FOR A BIT OF BAD GUY PUNCHING??? I AM, THAT'S FOR SURE!
Well maybe not, bad guys can be quite evil and whatnot. Maybe just annoying people who need their daily dose of COMEUPPANCE, TM REGISTERED TRADEMARK.
I got out my old tablet that I haven't used in aaaaaaages, and it was going great with adobe photoshop elements, the pressure of the pen was making the brushstrokes lovely and realistic, lighter and darker and whatnot. Then hey presto, something changes and the paintstrokes are thick and black and ugly with pen pressure having no effect on it. AAAAAAAARGH GOD DAMMNITTTTTT!!!! Someone help me out here, plzplox?
It might sort itself out though I doubt it. SO ANNOYING, I was just really getting in to it and now it's all stupid again.
Okay, well I guess that's my ranting over for now. Good day/night!
Seriously? A little feedback, anyone? What did you think? There are five of you who follow this blog, surely you at least read it? Okay, it's probably just me who spends every waking hour in a world that doesn't physically exist.
It's just gone. SNAP! CRACKLE! POP!
Vanished. But I've already gone over this.
But my memories of 2008 seem more vivid than this year. Perhaps it's because this year, it was a good year, but a lot of it was spend in mind-numbingly boring situations- I had a lot of classes with no friends in them, or people who I knew quite well but didn't sit with or talk with or whatever. Thus making them boring. Especially maths. Oh god. Worst. Subject. Ever. Not only am I atrociously bad at it, I sat by myself the entire year. OH GODDDDDDDDD You could pick me from a mile away as being an epic loser. /o\
French was okay, but it was always in the morning and freezing cold, and it was in the stupid French room that gives off a large, cold, unfeeling atmosphere. Anyway, it was okay, just not riveting or memorable, you know? The classes you remember are engaging and interesting, with your friends there to talk with and get yelled at and have jokes with, etc etc. So, English, Writing and Spanish were probably the most memorable subjects.
Basically, it was a good year, but event-free, making it kind of... well, it was just a passing sequence of days in which similar things happened. Yeah it was a good year, and I enjoyed it and had lots of good times, but when I think about it, the first thing that comes up is a blank slate, and only after thinking for a while am I able to recollect things that happened. I'm not saying it was a bad year! I must stress that- but there was a lot of nothingness along with the good stuff.
So yeah
that's all, I guess. I am going a bit insane, stuck in the house all day, getting up at eleven, only getting ready for the day at 12.00, sitting on the floor, downloading icons... why? What on earth is my obsession with 100x100 pixel boxes? I don't know, but they're AWESOME. But you know, I wouldn't mind at all getting out of here- I could do it myself, but there's nothing interesting around here. And because I'm just sitting around, I expend little energy, so I stay up later and later, and get up later and later and get more tired and so on and so forth... BLAH.
But hey it's the night, and I always tend to get pessimistic then, it's not all as bad as that... just boring. I want to run around and have a band practice, I want to hang out at Lucy's house (I have this thing where I just really, really want to hang out there all the time. It exudes creativity from its very core! Or...something.)
I want to spend time in the sunshine, in the grass, with FRIENDS.
But then most of them are heading to exotic places, or are currently in exotic places, and here I am at home again.
Still, I've been to places before. I remember- wait I've said all this before too! But I still really really really fondly recall going to New Plymouth. I don't even know WHY. I just love love love love love the memories of it. It's not like anything AMAZING happened- maybe that's why. It was just the niceness of a new place, and of course, that playlist. That I listened to a lot, and brings up strong epic memories.
It's 2010? I just don't even know. It's going so fast.
Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time.... BLAH
I WANT TO GO ON ADVENTURES
I WANT TO RUN AROUND
I WANT TO PUNCH BAD GUYS IN THE FACE
WHO'S UP FOR A BIT OF BAD GUY PUNCHING??? I AM, THAT'S FOR SURE!
Well maybe not, bad guys can be quite evil and whatnot. Maybe just annoying people who need their daily dose of COMEUPPANCE, TM REGISTERED TRADEMARK.
I got out my old tablet that I haven't used in aaaaaaages, and it was going great with adobe photoshop elements, the pressure of the pen was making the brushstrokes lovely and realistic, lighter and darker and whatnot. Then hey presto, something changes and the paintstrokes are thick and black and ugly with pen pressure having no effect on it. AAAAAAAARGH GOD DAMMNITTTTTT!!!! Someone help me out here, plzplox?
It might sort itself out though I doubt it. SO ANNOYING, I was just really getting in to it and now it's all stupid again.
Okay, well I guess that's my ranting over for now. Good day/night!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Hang on-
Wait a moment. Wait a moment. Wait... wait. Just... just wait a moment there. Wait. Wait a moment.
I'm going to be SEVENTEEN THIS YEAR!?!?!?!?
Excuse me for a moment.
OHSHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-
I'm going to be SEVENTEEN THIS YEAR!?!?!?!?
Excuse me for a moment.
OHSHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-
Friday, January 1, 2010
Hello 2010
I am soooooooo tired you guys
I was busy deleting all the tabs I had open jeeeeeeesus
and I'm srsly annoyed
youtube keeps being dumb and having no audio
and yes I checked the damn thing, it's not on mute
so I just deleted most of my tabs in case there's something there that's *overriding* the audio of youtube or some rubbish like that
but it still doesn't work
piece of crap
I wanna watch some very important videos!!!!! Well they're not important but I'd like to see them, okay
I'm so tiiiiiiiired
so so tired!!!!!!!!!!
it's only like 2.05 guys, lolwut
oh my god
I just downloaded like fifty million icons of the exact same thing but in different styles and stuff
bring on January 2nd, I want to see Doctor Who, whooo!
Okay, before I was all sombre and ranty and wtf-y, now I'm just exhausted.?
I'm totally going to end up printing out 50 billion icons and sticking them in a book for the lols or something
that's the extent to which I have a life
\o/
anyway if anyone wants to help me out on the youtube thing I'd appreciate it, or how to surreptitiously gain an ethernet local area network internet connection to ones room, that'd be great
have a nice time!
I was busy deleting all the tabs I had open jeeeeeeesus
and I'm srsly annoyed
youtube keeps being dumb and having no audio
and yes I checked the damn thing, it's not on mute
so I just deleted most of my tabs in case there's something there that's *overriding* the audio of youtube or some rubbish like that
but it still doesn't work
piece of crap
I wanna watch some very important videos!!!!! Well they're not important but I'd like to see them, okay
I'm so tiiiiiiiired
so so tired!!!!!!!!!!
it's only like 2.05 guys, lolwut
oh my god
I just downloaded like fifty million icons of the exact same thing but in different styles and stuff
bring on January 2nd, I want to see Doctor Who, whooo!
Okay, before I was all sombre and ranty and wtf-y, now I'm just exhausted.?
I'm totally going to end up printing out 50 billion icons and sticking them in a book for the lols or something
that's the extent to which I have a life
\o/
anyway if anyone wants to help me out on the youtube thing I'd appreciate it, or how to surreptitiously gain an ethernet local area network internet connection to ones room, that'd be great
have a nice time!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
WHAT
I WAS GOING TO POST SOMETHING BUT I CAN'T RE-
Ohhh right, anyway I had yet ANOTHER dream in which I attempt to play a musical instrument. It was the bass yet again, I recall the tabs saying 5 and 18 (in accordance with fret numbers) and well I managed to wrangle it, although I was really slow at getting to the 18th fret, it was quite difficult. Before that everyone was hanging at an electronics store, looking at speakers and what have you, then we were at this weird warehouse with a downwards ramp that went all the way down the road to the supermarket or something. I don't really know. Anyway the thing is that I had another dream where I kind of fail at playing the bass but kind of succeed as well. HOW STRANGE.
I think that's all, yeah. I probably had more to say but you know, I always do and who really cares
My computer is being stupid and rejecting my ipod. Grr
I'm currently stuck in the middle of a wiki walk, with approx. 50 tabs open on all sorts of things like lists of paradoxes and symphonic metal. Good times! I shall read them. Au revoir!
Ohhh right, anyway I had yet ANOTHER dream in which I attempt to play a musical instrument. It was the bass yet again, I recall the tabs saying 5 and 18 (in accordance with fret numbers) and well I managed to wrangle it, although I was really slow at getting to the 18th fret, it was quite difficult. Before that everyone was hanging at an electronics store, looking at speakers and what have you, then we were at this weird warehouse with a downwards ramp that went all the way down the road to the supermarket or something. I don't really know. Anyway the thing is that I had another dream where I kind of fail at playing the bass but kind of succeed as well. HOW STRANGE.
I think that's all, yeah. I probably had more to say but you know, I always do and who really cares
My computer is being stupid and rejecting my ipod. Grr
I'm currently stuck in the middle of a wiki walk, with approx. 50 tabs open on all sorts of things like lists of paradoxes and symphonic metal. Good times! I shall read them. Au revoir!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Failing at playing guitars
I keep having dreams in which I am made to play instruments on stage, I believe this has happened three times now, and each time, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. It always seems to work out okay, but first was a dream in which I had to play with Fall out Boy (I was just re-reading some old blog posts and saw that, hah.) Then I was playing bass at school in the hall with some band, no idea what I was doing.
And a few days ago I was playing in a band, it seemed NO ONE knew what was going on to be honest. That was also in the hall. Good times!
I got a radical haircut today, there's a spot over my eye that hurts.
That is all.
Also I am obsessed with the song Money by Pink Floyd, it's impossible to get out of your head.
Okay well that's all.
Oh maaaan, I haven't listened to this song in SO LONG! When the day met the night? I always thought it was kind of weird and didn't listen to it much, but it's sounding pretty awesome right now!
Aw, stupid panic at the disco. /o\ and \o/? awww. Sad. Happy. I become bipolar when I listen to them these days? I still love them though.
And a few days ago I was playing in a band, it seemed NO ONE knew what was going on to be honest. That was also in the hall. Good times!
I got a radical haircut today, there's a spot over my eye that hurts.
That is all.
Also I am obsessed with the song Money by Pink Floyd, it's impossible to get out of your head.
Okay well that's all.
Oh maaaan, I haven't listened to this song in SO LONG! When the day met the night? I always thought it was kind of weird and didn't listen to it much, but it's sounding pretty awesome right now!
Aw, stupid panic at the disco. /o\ and \o/? awww. Sad. Happy. I become bipolar when I listen to them these days? I still love them though.
Friday, October 16, 2009
STOP IT
Hi there,
stop being paranoid, there is no one behind you. And if there were I doubt they would be laughing at you for beling "lyk omg a total loser rofl!!!"
srsly though, the paranoia is not leaving, dammit this always happens. And I don't have it all the time it's only when I'm irrationally embarrassed by something. Epic fail!
I have no reason to be paranoid, no reason to be embarrassed by whatever random unexpected obsessions I have, but THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS
I'm just going to go, okay? And not be paranoid. DAMN IT ALL, I'M NOT GOING TO BE PARANOID!
There that's it. Goodbye.
Okay I'm losing my nerve, OKAY OKAY OKAY, FINE, FINE, THERE'S NO ONE THERE.
Aah, I managed to survive. Barely. What the hell is wrong with me I don't even know dammit
stop being paranoid, there is no one behind you. And if there were I doubt they would be laughing at you for beling "lyk omg a total loser rofl!!!"
srsly though, the paranoia is not leaving, dammit this always happens. And I don't have it all the time it's only when I'm irrationally embarrassed by something. Epic fail!
I have no reason to be paranoid, no reason to be embarrassed by whatever random unexpected obsessions I have, but THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS
I'm just going to go, okay? And not be paranoid. DAMN IT ALL, I'M NOT GOING TO BE PARANOID!
There that's it. Goodbye.
Okay I'm losing my nerve, OKAY OKAY OKAY, FINE, FINE, THERE'S NO ONE THERE.
Aah, I managed to survive. Barely. What the hell is wrong with me I don't even know dammit
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
blah
Hmm so Lucy's party was good, I had fun, I was muy happy afterwards for some reason. Anyway the week has been going pretty fast and I haven't even really noticed that it's almost the end of term because I've been busy waiting for my Myooose box set which HASN'T ARRIVED and everyone is annoyed because there have been lots of delays in getting them sent and whatnot. LE SIGH!
Have a science test tomorrow, blah... yeah.
Blah it's 10.00... I never get things done.
I'll just wait for my boxset. Which will have to come tomorrow or I may be turned in to a mad raving lunatic. =[
well gj'bye!
Have a science test tomorrow, blah... yeah.
Blah it's 10.00... I never get things done.
I'll just wait for my boxset. Which will have to come tomorrow or I may be turned in to a mad raving lunatic. =[
well gj'bye!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Lol Undisclosed Desires
Yay one can insert a text break or a "cut" in lj speak! In the case that you may have many words to say, but they take up a great deal of space. Intrigued readers may CLICK THE CUT and more words will appear! WOW!!!!
Oooh, look, italics and bolds! I didn't notice those before. hi?
Wow! I'm in the compose section, and there's loads of things one can change! YOU CAN MAKE LISTS!!!
lolwut????
anyway. yeah.
here's a text break of despair for you.
Oooh, look, italics and bolds! I didn't notice those before. hi?
Wow! I'm in the compose section, and there's loads of things one can change! YOU CAN MAKE LISTS!!!
- lol hi guys
- baked beans aren't very nice
- so today I had this piano thing
- it went for an hour twenty
- I had a pepsi today
- Matt Bellamy is really good at the piano and it's not fair okay
lolwut????
my name is billy bob and I proclaim that all hamburgers be abolished!
anyway. yeah.
here's a text break of despair for you.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
“WTF Hargrid?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.”
HAHAHA My Immortal. The best fanfiction ever. In a weird, twisted sense of the word.
Lol what an aggravating lame day.
I had sushi for lunch. It was yum! My mother didn't realise that sushi, ramen/udon noodles were Japanese food, as today she said "I've never had Japanese food before!"
In which I told her, "ma, Wagamama's is japanese food. Wagamama is a japanese word. Udon noodles and Ramen are Japanese. Sushi is JAPANESE."
so she then changed her wording to "I have Japanese food all the time!" hahaha.
Anyway, today a whole bunch of people were being SUPERCHUMPS.
It was only a couple of people really, but they're spoiling it for everyone else by saying a whole lot of crap like "OMG DA GROOP IS GOIN TO FALL APART!1!!!!" It's ridiculous. I also feel kind of annoyed by them saying this as they are a new person. I don't know why this counts for anything... it just seems that everything was fine until they came up and started acting absurd and making mountains out of molehills, figuratively but very certainly what they are doing. Them being a new person means that it seems they know all the logistics of our friends and have the tenacity to decide how everyone is behaving. Lol I know this is stupid but it bugs me for some reason. Which isn't really something I should do, always going "the old people" and "the new people." Although it is the truth. And I guess saying that means I don't find them to be a part of the friendship group. (Let me just add I hate using the word group. It's so damn aggravating, just like the phrase "hooking up." ARADGLAHDGOH)
I do find them to be a part- just that hey haven't been around as long so they can't quite make judgments and say things like "the group is falling apart!" when they've been around less than a year.
*facepalm*
Thing is, only a couple of people are mad at one another. This has gotten everyone else involved, and I hate discussing said things because it makes me feel like it's all just escalating if we talk about it. I don't know. Because, talking about it accepts that there's a problem and there really. really isn't. We're all (the sane ones that is) kind of pissed off at the crap starters now for being idiotic.
Basically, one person has gone crazy and decided that another friend has to stay away from her because she doesn't want to affect her? Or something? And so is trying to ignore her. One friend has decided to ~*~leave~*~ the group, some others think another one should be kicked out because she's too young and we might have a ~*~bad influence~*~ on her. FFS, we were FINE as far as goddamn influence goes before! Now we're flooded with people who are like LOL I'M CHEATING ON MAH BF WITH LYK 5 PEOPLE LOL"
okay so not that many. But you know. We were just a bit less vapid and guy obsessed to an annoying point than now.
One person, everyone is getting annoyed with (she's the LOL CHEATING one and the one who has decided the group is ~*falling apart~* and accusing people of random crap that I can't even remember now. She thinks the close relationship between two people is ruining the group (what the hell?) and that everyone hates this one other person (not true.) AARGH.
And Laura is all (from the happenings of today, no less!) I wanted to leave the group, I wanted to leave the school!
Eh. What?
I find some people's approach to dealing with things quite absurd.
Firstly, what's this LOL LEAVING THE GROUP 4 EVA BRB crap? It's like they can't deal. Apparently, people freak OUT about the possibility of LYK OMG HAVING A CRUSH ON SOMEONE! AND DEN THEY TOLD THE PERSON I HAVE A CRUSH ON! AND DEY HAVE A CRUSH ON ME LOL SO AWKWARD! TURNS OUT I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON THEM! WHOOPS I'D BETTA LEAVE COS IT'S RLLY AWKWARD AND SUCKY. kthx
So I guess that's the deal? And it's so pathetic and everyone's getting reallly riled up and I guess it can be mainly pinpointed to one shit-stirrer. WHOOP-DEE-DO!
Anyway. Let's get away from that angry ranting note and move on to other good stuff!
I PRE-ORDERED THE MUSE LIMITED EDITION BOX SET!! WHOO!!!! It's rad. RAD. TOTALLY RAD.
And here's something I wanted to do: A PICSPAM! WHOOOOO!
Is that six facepalms I hear in the distance?
OH WELL. =| srsface.
This is my chance to blatantly squee over Muse, okay? So... just deal with it for now. You get exciting pictures and you can ignore the keyboardmash. (I have to do it at some point, okay? OKAY?)
'Tis one of my favourite pictures, it's so sparkly. I suggest clicking to enlarge if you happen to care. XD
The annoying thing about blogger is that it puts the html for a picture at the top so you have to move it. RE: The picture: adfhasodighasgoih =D
He looks like a bird here. An awesome weird bird. ...Yeah. XD
This picture is absurd and therefore awesome. LOOK AT HIS FACE. XD
This picture be one of my favourites. =D
\o/!!!!!!!!!
AOGHASFOGHASFDOIGYQROEH WHAT
I have noticed that I seem to have a large amount of really freaky hilarious pictures of Dom. XD Anyway this picture is ASDOIGHASGIOH =D Matt looks FLUFFY. I know that's really rather odd but just look! LOOK. LOOK AT THIS PICTURE. FLUFFY. NOSE. MOUTH. WEIRD FLUFFY. What? Don't kill me for squeeing over pictures! /o\
LOOK AT HIS HAIR. LOOK AT IT. asdgehoflooooooooo
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT.
WHOOO random piano srs picture ftw!
ASDGHADFDFHPERIYQOIUERSNDFBSMDGNBSJHEARGV HERGDFSJIJDFHGAODHGAVOUHTOPUAIHVIOPH OMG
=D =D =D =D HEADPHONES AND AARRGH
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
=D =D =D I love this one it's aaaaah. =D!!!
ASDUHASOGUHASGOIH~!!!!! Best. There are a lot moar pictures that I want to add other than these ones but I'm not going to just to be nice I guess. XD
ORIGIN OF FLUFFINESS
AGAHSGOPIASHGSOIGH I know my comments are so intelligent and insightful. Shut up. (There's a girl in my form class who is doing year 13 maths. I... I feel so inferior. /o\)
Hahaha this picture is cute in a weird sort of way.
And now, a lulzy Matt picture:
And three pictures of Dom that just kill me. XDD
HAHAHA BEST
anyway that's all, finally!
Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodbye!
Lol what an aggravating lame day.
I had sushi for lunch. It was yum! My mother didn't realise that sushi, ramen/udon noodles were Japanese food, as today she said "I've never had Japanese food before!"
In which I told her, "ma, Wagamama's is japanese food. Wagamama is a japanese word. Udon noodles and Ramen are Japanese. Sushi is JAPANESE."
so she then changed her wording to "I have Japanese food all the time!" hahaha.
Anyway, today a whole bunch of people were being SUPERCHUMPS.
It was only a couple of people really, but they're spoiling it for everyone else by saying a whole lot of crap like "OMG DA GROOP IS GOIN TO FALL APART!1!!!!" It's ridiculous. I also feel kind of annoyed by them saying this as they are a new person. I don't know why this counts for anything... it just seems that everything was fine until they came up and started acting absurd and making mountains out of molehills, figuratively but very certainly what they are doing. Them being a new person means that it seems they know all the logistics of our friends and have the tenacity to decide how everyone is behaving. Lol I know this is stupid but it bugs me for some reason. Which isn't really something I should do, always going "the old people" and "the new people." Although it is the truth. And I guess saying that means I don't find them to be a part of the friendship group. (Let me just add I hate using the word group. It's so damn aggravating, just like the phrase "hooking up." ARADGLAHDGOH)
I do find them to be a part- just that hey haven't been around as long so they can't quite make judgments and say things like "the group is falling apart!" when they've been around less than a year.
*facepalm*
Thing is, only a couple of people are mad at one another. This has gotten everyone else involved, and I hate discussing said things because it makes me feel like it's all just escalating if we talk about it. I don't know. Because, talking about it accepts that there's a problem and there really. really isn't. We're all (the sane ones that is) kind of pissed off at the crap starters now for being idiotic.
Basically, one person has gone crazy and decided that another friend has to stay away from her because she doesn't want to affect her? Or something? And so is trying to ignore her. One friend has decided to ~*~leave~*~ the group, some others think another one should be kicked out because she's too young and we might have a ~*~bad influence~*~ on her. FFS, we were FINE as far as goddamn influence goes before! Now we're flooded with people who are like LOL I'M CHEATING ON MAH BF WITH LYK 5 PEOPLE LOL"
okay so not that many. But you know. We were just a bit less vapid and guy obsessed to an annoying point than now.
One person, everyone is getting annoyed with (she's the LOL CHEATING one and the one who has decided the group is ~*falling apart~* and accusing people of random crap that I can't even remember now. She thinks the close relationship between two people is ruining the group (what the hell?) and that everyone hates this one other person (not true.) AARGH.
And Laura is all (from the happenings of today, no less!) I wanted to leave the group, I wanted to leave the school!
Eh. What?
I find some people's approach to dealing with things quite absurd.
Firstly, what's this LOL LEAVING THE GROUP 4 EVA BRB crap? It's like they can't deal. Apparently, people freak OUT about the possibility of LYK OMG HAVING A CRUSH ON SOMEONE! AND DEN THEY TOLD THE PERSON I HAVE A CRUSH ON! AND DEY HAVE A CRUSH ON ME LOL SO AWKWARD! TURNS OUT I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON THEM! WHOOPS I'D BETTA LEAVE COS IT'S RLLY AWKWARD AND SUCKY. kthx
So I guess that's the deal? And it's so pathetic and everyone's getting reallly riled up and I guess it can be mainly pinpointed to one shit-stirrer. WHOOP-DEE-DO!
Anyway. Let's get away from that angry ranting note and move on to other good stuff!
I PRE-ORDERED THE MUSE LIMITED EDITION BOX SET!! WHOO!!!! It's rad. RAD. TOTALLY RAD.
And here's something I wanted to do: A PICSPAM! WHOOOOO!
Is that six facepalms I hear in the distance?
OH WELL. =| srsface.
This is my chance to blatantly squee over Muse, okay? So... just deal with it for now. You get exciting pictures and you can ignore the keyboardmash. (I have to do it at some point, okay? OKAY?)
'Tis one of my favourite pictures, it's so sparkly. I suggest clicking to enlarge if you happen to care. XD
The annoying thing about blogger is that it puts the html for a picture at the top so you have to move it. RE: The picture: adfhasodighasgoih =D
He looks like a bird here. An awesome weird bird. ...Yeah. XD
This picture is absurd and therefore awesome. LOOK AT HIS FACE. XD
This picture be one of my favourites. =D
\o/!!!!!!!!!
AOGHASFOGHASFDOIGYQROEH WHAT
I have noticed that I seem to have a large amount of really freaky hilarious pictures of Dom. XD Anyway this picture is ASDOIGHASGIOH =D Matt looks FLUFFY. I know that's really rather odd but just look! LOOK. LOOK AT THIS PICTURE. FLUFFY. NOSE. MOUTH. WEIRD FLUFFY. What? Don't kill me for squeeing over pictures! /o\
LOOK AT HIS HAIR. LOOK AT IT. asdgehoflooooooooo
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT.
WHOOO random piano srs picture ftw!
ASDGHADFDFHPERIYQOIUERSNDFBSMDGNBSJHEARGV HERGDFSJIJDFHGAODHGAVOUHTOPUAIHVIOPH OMG
=D =D =D =D HEADPHONES AND AARRGH
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
=D =D =D I love this one it's aaaaah. =D!!!
ASDUHASOGUHASGOIH~!!!!! Best. There are a lot moar pictures that I want to add other than these ones but I'm not going to just to be nice I guess. XD
ORIGIN OF FLUFFINESS
AGAHSGOPIASHGSOIGH I know my comments are so intelligent and insightful. Shut up. (There's a girl in my form class who is doing year 13 maths. I... I feel so inferior. /o\)
Hahaha this picture is cute in a weird sort of way.
And now, a lulzy Matt picture:
And three pictures of Dom that just kill me. XDD
HAHAHA BEST
anyway that's all, finally!
Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodbye!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
When life gives you lemons, punch someone in the face.
What.
This is how my brain works: lemons. seven! punching people!
Had an exciting wondrous sleepover of idiocy yesterday at the house of Jordan's which is amazing gorgeous with a view over the beach, Rangitoto and Browns Island, this loft room, it's just amazing. =D
Anyway it was pretty weird, I discovered that for some reason everyone thinks I'm an innocent cute person. Wut
The other day I suggested we make a band, everyone joined and I was promptly not a leading force in the creation of the band so I left. XDD BRB DOIN' SOLO CAREER
You know an impossible genre of music? Punk prog-rock. Punk songs- super fast drumming, yelling fast lyrics and dirnt dirnt bass lines. Prog rock, super long elaborate instrumentals with some word salad lyrics to go along. IT JUST WOULDN'T WORK. XDD
I need to sleep I had four hours sleep and went to bed at five ughhhh what the hell is with life. gtfo.
What did I have to do for guitar? uh... some songs... sure.
WHATEVERS.
asdgjawrevsnfaehptuywupioqwopriyeuorjsdf
asfkhgsfohbgojdbjrthnebnjdfg
gtasgdoghfdm
anyway I want to read fanfic for some weird reason? I don't actually know why, OH WELL I feel like venturing on to ff.net and laughing at all the atrocities... then again... maybe not. I get exceptionally paranoid whenever I go there. I don't know why. Why would I get more paranoid when going to a website? If I'm going to be spied upon, it would be always. so why aren't I paranoid when going to other sites? I'M NOT AT ALL PARANOID. But stick me on ff.net and if I go to the telletubbies section so I can laugh at all the summaries and then press the back button and go cry for my childhood, I'll assume there's someone watching me and thinking I actually WANT to read telletubbies fanfic. Oh dear god no.
For the record I have never been to the telletubbies area and I do not intend to. EVER.
(seriously though, there is a certain area of ff.net that I went to and just laughed until I cried at all the atrocious fic summaries. dear god. I really really want to go back but I don't think I have the willpower to face the badfic. XDD)
Maybe I'll go play the sims 2 instead. Or, you know, do homework. ughhh whatever.
I've sworn off energy drinks 4 EVA ND EVA!!!! If the chance arises for me to buy one, I REFUSE TO. So there. We had good times, but... THEY CHANGED ME. I WENT AGAINST EVERYTHING I USED TO STAND FOR! I BECAME EVERYTHING I HATED. LYK OH MY GOODNESS.
I have to go now before I die?~?!?!!?!?
I have eaten basically pure junk food for the last few days. Pray for Mojo.
This is how my brain works: lemons. seven! punching people!
Had an exciting wondrous sleepover of idiocy yesterday at the house of Jordan's which is amazing gorgeous with a view over the beach, Rangitoto and Browns Island, this loft room, it's just amazing. =D
Anyway it was pretty weird, I discovered that for some reason everyone thinks I'm an innocent cute person. Wut
The other day I suggested we make a band, everyone joined and I was promptly not a leading force in the creation of the band so I left. XDD BRB DOIN' SOLO CAREER
You know an impossible genre of music? Punk prog-rock. Punk songs- super fast drumming, yelling fast lyrics and dirnt dirnt bass lines. Prog rock, super long elaborate instrumentals with some word salad lyrics to go along. IT JUST WOULDN'T WORK. XDD
I need to sleep I had four hours sleep and went to bed at five ughhhh what the hell is with life. gtfo.
What did I have to do for guitar? uh... some songs... sure.
WHATEVERS.
asdgjawrevsnfaehptuywupioqwopriyeuorjsdf
asfkhgsfohbgojdbjrthnebnjdfg
gtasgdoghfdm
anyway I want to read fanfic for some weird reason? I don't actually know why, OH WELL I feel like venturing on to ff.net and laughing at all the atrocities... then again... maybe not. I get exceptionally paranoid whenever I go there. I don't know why. Why would I get more paranoid when going to a website? If I'm going to be spied upon, it would be always. so why aren't I paranoid when going to other sites? I'M NOT AT ALL PARANOID. But stick me on ff.net and if I go to the telletubbies section so I can laugh at all the summaries and then press the back button and go cry for my childhood, I'll assume there's someone watching me and thinking I actually WANT to read telletubbies fanfic. Oh dear god no.
For the record I have never been to the telletubbies area and I do not intend to. EVER.
(seriously though, there is a certain area of ff.net that I went to and just laughed until I cried at all the atrocious fic summaries. dear god. I really really want to go back but I don't think I have the willpower to face the badfic. XDD)
Maybe I'll go play the sims 2 instead. Or, you know, do homework. ughhh whatever.
I've sworn off energy drinks 4 EVA ND EVA!!!! If the chance arises for me to buy one, I REFUSE TO. So there. We had good times, but... THEY CHANGED ME. I WENT AGAINST EVERYTHING I USED TO STAND FOR! I BECAME EVERYTHING I HATED. LYK OH MY GOODNESS.
I have to go now before I die?~?!?!!?!?
I have eaten basically pure junk food for the last few days. Pray for Mojo.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Hmph
I need to stop getting overly upset from single tiny comments. Aaarrrgh. I'm going to go through a few days of depression now, reverting back to the Good One and keeping away from the Enigma until I've gotten over it.
In other news, Something really weird happened today. I was doing piano, and I asked for help on some little thing I wasn't sure about. I got really tense and kind of stressed for a moment, but then that went away. But, after that, I suddenly started to get this pain where my jaw feels like it's going to explode and my face is going to burst because I'm trying to stop myself from crying. I basically just burst in to tears for absolutely no discernible reason whatsoever. I had to go to my room and calm down and try to stop. It was utterly bizarre because I had no idea what could have brought it on, apart from me doing piano, but that was just what I was doing at the time and it doesn't really seem like it was to blame. It's confusing, that must've been why, but you know, it wasn't one of those things where you know why you are crying; this just came out of nowhere. From a subconscious part of my brain. It just went OH HEY LET'S START CRYING FOR SOME REASON OKAY? and then my conscious part was all WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL ='[
so um yeah
This is slightly concerning.
So anyway I'm going to go listen to AFI now. It's noisy. And that is good. And listen to Wolstenholme talking, and I will not watch the hullabaloo documentary. Nor will I play the sims.
I regularly have identity crisis's where I suddenly see everything in a different way and completely panic and freak out. So I stop thinking about it. I'm worried that if I keep thinking about it I'll probably go insane. I daresay ignoring such thoughts is a good idea.
In other news, Something really weird happened today. I was doing piano, and I asked for help on some little thing I wasn't sure about. I got really tense and kind of stressed for a moment, but then that went away. But, after that, I suddenly started to get this pain where my jaw feels like it's going to explode and my face is going to burst because I'm trying to stop myself from crying. I basically just burst in to tears for absolutely no discernible reason whatsoever. I had to go to my room and calm down and try to stop. It was utterly bizarre because I had no idea what could have brought it on, apart from me doing piano, but that was just what I was doing at the time and it doesn't really seem like it was to blame. It's confusing, that must've been why, but you know, it wasn't one of those things where you know why you are crying; this just came out of nowhere. From a subconscious part of my brain. It just went OH HEY LET'S START CRYING FOR SOME REASON OKAY? and then my conscious part was all WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL ='[
so um yeah
This is slightly concerning.
So anyway I'm going to go listen to AFI now. It's noisy. And that is good. And listen to Wolstenholme talking, and I will not watch the hullabaloo documentary. Nor will I play the sims.
I regularly have identity crisis's where I suddenly see everything in a different way and completely panic and freak out. So I stop thinking about it. I'm worried that if I keep thinking about it I'll probably go insane. I daresay ignoring such thoughts is a good idea.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Feelin' fine.
I remember, years ago seeing 2001: A Space Odyssey. I was at maungawhai (I don't know how you spell that, eheh) I think it was easter. Hahah I was just thinking about it today. I didn't see the whole thing but I remembered there was an evil computer who killed people and when they shut it down it sung "daisy, daisy!" WEIRD. I want to watch that movie again it sounds cool. Anyway. I really have to do my speech.
Speech speech! Gotta do that... NOW. NOW. NOW!!!
Muse slash fails. Do you know why? Because they're DOIN' IT RONG.
seriously, it's not some ridiculous "OH DOM I LOVE YOU LET'S RUN AWAY TOGETHER!" "BUT MATT, WHAT WILL CHRIS DO?!" "OH IT'S OKAY, HE HAS TOM!!! LOLOLOL" AND THEY RUN OFF IN TO THE SUNSET AND HAVE ALIEN BABIES.
NO.
Lol I was on the slash comm on el jay and... NO NO NO. I came across a highly traumatic and disturbing chris/tom one, I just uhhh skimmed it before closing it because DO NOT WANT. ahahahahhahahaha seriously. It has to be ridiculous. That's basically it. Think hullabaloo! Set to angsty hyper chondriac music. AHAHAH
WHAT
Anyway. I had another traumatic and highly disturbing dream last night. (I'd had a disturbing dream on either monday or tuesday night.) Yyyyyyyyyyyyeah. it was truly bizarre. And what was odd, was that I woke up and went back to sleep and the dream continued in the same vein. Usually when you go back to sleep you have an entirely different dream. The first part was okay, if not highly odd. It... well I was thinking along with the dream, "yeah, go you! admitting it and all!" but afterwards I figured it was fairly odd. The dream then mutated in to a whole pile of rubbish designed to infuriate and distress me. Without being nightmarish! For the most part. At the last part, I was going oh god please let this be a dream oh god this had better not be real- OH THANK GOD, THIS IS A DREAM! NOW I JUST HAVE TO WAKE UP! and lo and behold I woke up, and lay there for a while feeling severely freaked out.
Today we went in to town. I got a t shirt. I GOT A T SHIRT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.
EPIC PROPORTIONS. eheheheheeheheh.
Now, I must go search the interweb for info on Scientology so I can write my speech. Eeeeep.
Edit: AW CRAP IT'S 11.30 NOW!!! WHY IS TIME GOING SO FAST?!?? I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING. GODDD HELP ME
well I only have myself to blame. AARRRGH SCREW YOU, SPEECHES!
Also, screw you, tvtropes! DO YOU KNOW HOW ADDICTING THAT STUPID SITE IS. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW JUST HOW MUCH IT IS. GODDAMMIT.
Speech speech! Gotta do that... NOW. NOW. NOW!!!
Muse slash fails. Do you know why? Because they're DOIN' IT RONG.
seriously, it's not some ridiculous "OH DOM I LOVE YOU LET'S RUN AWAY TOGETHER!" "BUT MATT, WHAT WILL CHRIS DO?!" "OH IT'S OKAY, HE HAS TOM!!! LOLOLOL" AND THEY RUN OFF IN TO THE SUNSET AND HAVE ALIEN BABIES.
NO.
Lol I was on the slash comm on el jay and... NO NO NO. I came across a highly traumatic and disturbing chris/tom one, I just uhhh skimmed it before closing it because DO NOT WANT. ahahahahhahahaha seriously. It has to be ridiculous. That's basically it. Think hullabaloo! Set to angsty hyper chondriac music. AHAHAH
WHAT
Anyway. I had another traumatic and highly disturbing dream last night. (I'd had a disturbing dream on either monday or tuesday night.) Yyyyyyyyyyyyeah. it was truly bizarre. And what was odd, was that I woke up and went back to sleep and the dream continued in the same vein. Usually when you go back to sleep you have an entirely different dream. The first part was okay, if not highly odd. It... well I was thinking along with the dream, "yeah, go you! admitting it and all!" but afterwards I figured it was fairly odd. The dream then mutated in to a whole pile of rubbish designed to infuriate and distress me. Without being nightmarish! For the most part. At the last part, I was going oh god please let this be a dream oh god this had better not be real- OH THANK GOD, THIS IS A DREAM! NOW I JUST HAVE TO WAKE UP! and lo and behold I woke up, and lay there for a while feeling severely freaked out.
Today we went in to town. I got a t shirt. I GOT A T SHIRT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.
EPIC PROPORTIONS. eheheheheeheheh.
Now, I must go search the interweb for info on Scientology so I can write my speech. Eeeeep.
Edit: AW CRAP IT'S 11.30 NOW!!! WHY IS TIME GOING SO FAST?!?? I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING. GODDD HELP ME
well I only have myself to blame. AARRRGH SCREW YOU, SPEECHES!
Also, screw you, tvtropes! DO YOU KNOW HOW ADDICTING THAT STUPID SITE IS. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW JUST HOW MUCH IT IS. GODDAMMIT.
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