John Paul, you my main man

HELP, I'm still an utterly paranoid lunatic looner nutcase psychopath
okay I'm not a psychopath but I am an utterly paranoid loser. I need someone to slap me,I need a general in the military, to slap me and shout "GET YO ACT TOGETHER, YOU LITTLE MAGGOT!! AIN'T NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, OR YOUR PATHETIC LIFE! DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!!!"
And then kick me so I fall over while trying to do twenty pushups
...actually I'm not really sure how this will help me get over my paranoia
is there anything you can do to stop being paranoid? It's completely irrational. But I can't heeeeeeeeeeeelp it. Heeeeeeeelp me!
You know, I think I know what helped me to become paranoid. THE SCHOOL. WITH THEIR CLAIMS OF WATCHING YOU WHEN YOU USE YOUR COMPUTER. SPYING ON YOU. ALL. THE DAMN. TIME.
THAT is why I am so paranoid. It's not like I'm looking up "how to blow up your school" on google or anything, I'm just paranoid! Like I said, it IS irrational, so yeah. But I think I can fairly say that's one of the causes for my paranoia. I mean it's not like anyone CARES what I'm doing (irrational, remember) but I can't but help think that I'll go "I TOTALLY think there should be Tony Harrison/Saboo fanfiction" and look it up for the lolz, and someone will be spying on me and go "WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS PERSON, ARREST HER IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!"
Also... I don't think I want Tony Harrison/Saboo fanfiction. That sounds...disturbing as hell, because you know, Tony Harrison is a pink bladder with tentacles. So.
The paranoia only happens when I feel particularly stupid about something, something I feel inherently embarrassed about because god knows why. So it's EVEN MORE STUPID, because I'm not paranoid ALL THE TIME, just some of the time. It's getting ridiculous.
Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

A peculiar coincidence happened today (I guess it wasn't reeeeeeeaally a coincidence, but it did strike me as rather peculiar.)
oh, yeah, and the Big Day Out was that thing that happened the other day? Yeah.
The Horrors, you guys! We were right up the front, it was most excellent. Although I didn't actually know any of their songs really, it was still cool, and the crowd was a bit crazy, I was practically falling over a lot of the time.

Anyway, I think I sat down for about, 45 minutes? In the course of the whole day? And it was a long day. And my feet were dead. The day after, I could barely walk. BUT! I have made a full recovery, hurrah hooray.
And of course there was MUSE.
MUSE YOU GUYS
Oh god they were so wonderful. I was in the D area, but quite far to the back, and there were lots of tall people and my vision was rather impaired by their height. Which was sucky and lame, I didn't get to see Chris headbanging like a lunatic, or Matt playing the guitar behind his head in Plug In Baby, or leaning against the amp, or doing a little floor slide, etc, etc.
BUT it was still great and wonderful and delightful, and they played Nishe, I mean wow. I was just listening to that now. XD

And I have ~*~officially~*~ scrobbled Muse 2000 times! I've listened to them more than that, but you know, that proves it's the bare minimum. XD

ANYWAY someone on the Muse boards (actually the guy I got my resistance boxset from, whoo!) said that if they returned it would probably be in November or December. OH PLEASE BE TRUE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (let me get what I want)
So yeah, they must return immediately. Ie in twelve months, whatever. So that I can arrive early, and get an excellent spot in the pit of mosh. So I can see everything, and be close to the front yet still able to jump up and down. (The jumping up and down at BDO was aweeeesome. So much fun!)

ANYWAY. I think that's all I have to report for now. I've been all obsessive and internet lurking as usual, and of course I have no one to uh, "squee" with, you know, because of that whole paranoia/embarrassment thing I have going on. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE IT COMES FROM, GUYS. I'M JUST...INHERENTLY EMBARRASSED ABOUT SOME THINGS, AND NOT OTHERS!! WHAT THE HELL?!

Guysssssss help me stop being paranoid, ookay?!?!


Also. My laptop is a pile of crap. It keeps
ELECTROCUTING ME
WHAT THE HELL
THIS IS BOLLOCKS
piece of junk. Stupid dells. Never buy a dell. They're crap okay.

Now, have this super awesome comic by Kate Beaton, who is also awesome. I think you should click on it. Okay.
Also: JAM!

Um

Well I hope my five followers all had nice Christmases.
There used to be two other people who followed me, from different countries (!) then they stopped following me, which is sad, because sometimes they had nice things to say, and they had interesting blogs too. One of them hasn't updated in about a year which makes me sad because they had the best blogs. I guess they just thought I was immature and lame, yaaaaaaaaaaay /o\

Anyway, I had a good Christmas.
We bought desks for rooms. My room is a nightmare.
Doctor Who was absurd but delightful for the brief two seconds of epic win. It's a shame that wasn't longer though. It was honestly great. Now I'm looking forward to the next part, we shall see what will happen eh?
There is no one here, I want my desk.

Also I got an electric guitar, which was a wonderful event. And my brother got a really nice stereo, and I will be seriously annoyed if he doesn't use it. He had better use it. I'll make him. If I'm not allowed it, then he MUST use it, because otherwise that would just be the stupidest thing ever, y/y?

I hate breakfast, there is never anything I want to have for breakfast, so I tend to just ignore it or have some fruit. It greatly angers me. Toast is too crunchy, I am just sick of cereal, and that's about it. Everything else requires a lot of effort, and sometimes you just want something simple for breakfast, you don't want pancakes every day or a slap up meal. There needs to be a simple breakfast thing.
Actually you can have a sort of fruit salad and yoghurt thing. That sounds good, I'll try do that from now on.

I don't even know what I'm on about, I'm just rambling to myself, whooooo
goodbye

Oh hi there

I has a new blog layout! It's pretty, although I would rather the white colour was just transparent so it's the same colour as the background, and the font maybe a different one. But I think I'll stick with this for now.

I am excited! On Friday I shall be seeing Green Day! By myself, yeah, but hey it's still cool. I DON'T NEED YOU, FRIENDS
Also I bought a cool top which I shall wear to see Green Day. And tomorrow I am going to faire les courses? Um...yay?
Nothing much happens at night because if you don't have any plans there isn't much to do. And I don't tend to have plans all that often. XD
That's all for now? I'm sure I'll talk about more interesting things soon. (Famous last words.)
BEANS.
That is all- wait no it isn't!

SO my headphones broke sadly... the left one stopped working. They are covered under a 2 year warranty so I was able to get a replacement pair. Although I do feel a bit sad because you know, they were my headphones! The new pair are just as good, I've noticed that when you first get them they are very tightly clamped over your ears and they loosen up after a little while. Hmm. Well. It's alright. I'll live. XD

Triskadekaphobia?

OKAY FINE

I haven't posted in a while but I'm concerned about the number this post is.
.... so here's an update

I spent the whole day on livejournal... obtaining music *cough*
I got lots of Yo La Tengo, Radiohead, The Horrors, The Strokes, Iron And Wine, Tom Waits, and for some reason I also got some Velvet Underground, Mad Marge and The Stonecutters, The Flaming Lips and Them Crooked Vultures. Oh, and lots of Of Montreal too. I've never heard a lot of the stuff from these bands before, so that should be interesting, eh?
Je suis libre! Pour cinq jours... I only have a Spanish exam left, que malo! But not really. And then boring stuff like prizegiving and whatnot, then freeeeeeeedom! Horrible, horrible freedom!
...Yeah.
...I use the improvident lackwit tab for almost every post, yet it usually has nothing to do with anything. I just really like it.

Failing at playing guitars

I keep having dreams in which I am made to play instruments on stage, I believe this has happened three times now, and each time, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. It always seems to work out okay, but first was a dream in which I had to play with Fall out Boy (I was just re-reading some old blog posts and saw that, hah.) Then I was playing bass at school in the hall with some band, no idea what I was doing.
And a few days ago I was playing in a band, it seemed NO ONE knew what was going on to be honest. That was also in the hall. Good times!
I got a radical haircut today, there's a spot over my eye that hurts.
That is all.
Also I am obsessed with the song Money by Pink Floyd, it's impossible to get out of your head.
Okay well that's all.
Oh maaaan, I haven't listened to this song in SO LONG! When the day met the night? I always thought it was kind of weird and didn't listen to it much, but it's sounding pretty awesome right now!
Aw, stupid panic at the disco. /o\ and \o/? awww. Sad. Happy. I become bipolar when I listen to them these days? I still love them though.

STOP IT

Hi there,
stop being paranoid, there is no one behind you. And if there were I doubt they would be laughing at you for beling "lyk omg a total loser rofl!!!"
srsly though, the paranoia is not leaving, dammit this always happens. And I don't have it all the time it's only when I'm irrationally embarrassed by something. Epic fail!
I have no reason to be paranoid, no reason to be embarrassed by whatever random unexpected obsessions I have, but THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS
I'm just going to go, okay? And not be paranoid. DAMN IT ALL, I'M NOT GOING TO BE PARANOID!
There that's it. Goodbye.
Okay I'm losing my nerve, OKAY OKAY OKAY, FINE, FINE, THERE'S NO ONE THERE.

Aah, I managed to survive. Barely. What the hell is wrong with me I don't even know dammit

Time is running out

seriously though, it is.
I managed to wake up kind of early today. 9.40 ish. Not early, but early for me. Buhhhh I've only been able to get to sleep at around 2 in the morning and it sucks. So I decided to get up earlier, so that I would be more tired, so that I would get to sleep faster.
Uh that's all I have to say right now.

Edit: we just found a spider on a shoe OH GOD OH GOD IT'S HORRENDOUS

Lol bass clarinet solo

So hay guise!?!?
Wooo I'm buying La Resistance: Le box set from someone who got two. Of course the people in charge managed to screw that up as well and people who ordered ltd edition and actually GOT IT ended up with just deluxe, depending on which site you ordered from. Sheesh!
Today I was playing the sims 2 and I found out that this thing I downloaded was an advent calendar! See I just thought they were random pictures of people dressed up like santa but turns out you can click on them and get gifts. You get 1000 dollars the first day and a lot of chocolate. When you get chocolate you end up with "so and so has eaten too much chocolate!" and they run to the bathroom and throw up. hahahah! They also get other good stuff too, as well as a pizza. When they take it out you get a pop up box with the person who got it saying "wow, a pizza in a calendar! what next?" and then when you get all of them it says "merry Christmas to your sims!" and then they run up to where the calendars are and look at the screen and wave and smile at you. IT'S SO CUTE HAHAHAHA.

anyway now I'm going to go watch Hullabalooooooooo.
Also I have lots of asthma today. Grrr. I've had it the whole day and it won't go away. Also spiders have started returning to our house after a pleasant season of them not being there for some reason. What a shame. Daddy-long-legs should die. They're just so repulsive. I mean seriously. They're blobs with long spindly legs and they walk like freaks UGH UGH UGH. And apparently they actually have enough venom to kill a person? But they can't because their fangs aren't large enough. Or so I heard. Let's hope they don't evolve or something. UGH. Disgusting.

Welp. That's that I guess.

Aaah screw it, it's 11.30, I can't be bothered watching dvds. I'm listening to Muse slowed way down right now. It's hilarious. I'll go to bed apres ca!
FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL MOIIIIIIIIIII WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD
CRUUUUUMBLIIIIIIIIIIIIING DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN
FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL MOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIFE CROMBLIIIIIIIIING AWOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
FOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLING AWOIIIIIIIIIIIII
FOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLING AWOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
WITH YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

...really, you've got to listen to it to get the idea. XDD

Que malo! Tengo mierdo de las matematicas!

Haha what a day.
It was good. Didn't do much, found I got excellence in my science test so that was good. It was previously merit but one had been marked incorrectly so yeah. Teachers were late so Lucy and co came to our classroom and were loud and rambunctious for a while. Watched speeches and they were good. Had lunch and we had a kind of semi shared lunch. XDD We sang a lot of songs randomly. And then I started attacking Lucy and hitting her on the head with a drink bottle with Laura trying to stop us fighting. Then Lucy tried to throw water and me and I was not going to stand for that, no sir! She tried to throw water at me and I ran away. Then she put it down and for whatever reason, Nikki decided to pour all the water over them. Then they got yelled at. XDD
And then I had a maths test and got all depressed because I did really badly and sat staring at it for ages. So I was depressed until after p.e when I went wandering around with Laura and Lucy. Lucy told someone to have a "FANTASTIC WEEKEND" and I cracked up laughing and she didn't quite understand why until I said "I think your drawing's FANTASTIC!" at which point she too began to die laughing.

We went downstairs to my locker where Rebecca was. Laura knocked over one of the boxes she was carrying and she said something in one of those "teacher" voices. Can't remember what exactly she said, I think it was "I'm waiting." and she promptly killed us all. We all actually collapsed on the floor laughing. Lucy was flailing around as she is wont to do, Laura just fell down and I curled up on the floor. It was absurdly hilarious. Anyway we managed to get up and continue after a while.

I went up to the train station and they followed me for a little while before crossing the road. We were standing around for a while and this guy went by in an old vintage style sort of racing-convertible car thing. I went \m/ at him and he waved and tooted his horn and we went "whoo!" So that was good times!
And then I wasn't depressed any more so that was good. Although I went on the train and that was stupid and I was kind of "blehhhhhhhhhh" but BUT, we took Hamish to his piano lesson and we went to JB HiFi and I got Muse dvds: Hullabaloooooo and Absolution SO THAT WAS RAD! Hoorah!

So I guess that was good. I had a good day! And hopefully I will get my muse boxset tomorrow because on the forums some NZers have mentioned receiving theirs AT LAST. WHOOOOOOO that sounds good!
And tomorrow I have a sleepover whatsit so that should be good.
ALL IN ALL IT HAS BEEN A GOOD WEEK. It went pretty fast actually. Faster than last week.
GOOD TIMES! I am happy now and going to finish watching my Myoose dvd which I have only been able to watch one song off. Blah.

Also at jb-hifi they had AMAZING TVS. AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING. They were incredibly high quality! On one you could basically see every tiny little detail. It seemed like higher visual quality than actual visual life. Wow. Wooooooooooow. They were pretty.
Welp! That's all I guess. G'jbye!

Lol Undisclosed Desires

Yay one can insert a text break or a "cut" in lj speak! In the case that you may have many words to say, but they take up a great deal of space. Intrigued readers may CLICK THE CUT and more words will appear! WOW!!!!
Oooh, look, italics and bolds! I didn't notice those before. hi?
Wow! I'm in the compose section, and there's loads of things one can change! YOU CAN MAKE LISTS!!!

• lol hi guys
• baked beans aren't very nice
• so today I had this piano thing
• it went for an hour twenty
• I had a pepsi today
• Matt Bellamy is really good at the piano and it's not fair okay

also, quotes!
lolwut????

my name is billy bob and I proclaim that all hamburgers be abolished!

anyway. yeah.
here's a text break of despair for you.

Lemon.

tomorrow pour l'ecole we have stupid House Music. ARGGHBLEH... I have to dress as a farmer, how original. Our house has decided to do New Zealand culture! I repeat: how original! Uuuuuuuuuugh. I just cannot be bothered. What the hell.
Cannot be bothered with this upcoming week, as a matter of fact. Nothing else matters but the end of the week. I'm ignoring leaks, so that's when it will be. MUSE. The Re-friggin-sistance! Hahaha. It seems that is the same day as Lucy's party. I am quite glad to find out I get it on Saturday and not friggin' Monday. Says release in Australia is the 12th, so I assume that's the same for New Zealand. WHOO HOO. Of course that means that everyone at Lucy's will be right annoyed at me because I'll just be yelling about Muse the whole time. As a matter of fact I think I might have a piano thingy on that day as well... which means even less time able to listen to it. aarrgh. Just..... aaarrrgh. Apparently Unnatural Selection is INSANE. WHOOOO.
Anyway that's all. Just wanted to post a short blog.
Spent some time today playing runescape with mon frere. We shouted insults at each other the whole time. It was great. Most of them involved the word "mule" in some way. We had insults such as steamed ham mule, steamed clams mule and aurora borealis mule, to name a few. hahahaha. =D

Aww, crap. Just remembered that I don't have a swandri-esque shirt for house music. OH WELL!!!! I GUESS I CAN'T GO THEN!! THAT'S A SHAME! Never mind the fact that I don't really have any proper shorts, or normal looking gumboots. I have... green spotty gumboots. And I ask you: how on earth are you supposed to dance in gumboots? It's difficult enough walking in them for crying out loud. I really don't think that this has been thought through too well. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh

'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine

^ aw what sweet lyrics. hahaha.
Sam's Town is totes the best Killers album. In my opinion anyway XDD
WHEN EVERYBODY ELSE REFRAINED, MY UNCLE JONNY DID COCAINE!
Anyway went in to town today, went to Real Groovy of course; they had House of Leaves there which was totally rad and I would've bought it if it weren't for the fact that a)I'd already bought 3 cds, b)it was $40 and c)I've already read it haha
of course one can read a book more than once! And I would certainly like to read it again! But yeah.
So aujourd'hui j'ai achete (imagine an accent on that last e, okay, OKAY) three cds: I got HULLABALOO SOUNDTRACK of Muse and I was delighted to find it as usually they only have the four main cd's and HAARP, and today they had Hullabaloo. So yay! Now I just need the dvd of it and everything will be dandy.
I also got an AFI compilation cd (bunch of songs off different albums, didn't really want to get any of the others so this seemed like a good one to get as I didn't have it)
and also I got Renegades by RATM and hopefully that will be good. If it isn't well OH WELL THEN =|
And ma mere got Sam's Town by The Killers so now we have their three main cds for some reason. Yay?
WAIT 'TILL TOMORROW YOU'LL BE FINE
BUT IT'S GONE TO THE DOGS IN MY MIND!
I ALWAYS HEAR THEM WHEN THE DEAD OF NIGHT COMES CALLING!

Anyway it was a good day despite the fact that it's Sunday. As far as I knooow... I don't have any homework... although next week I have a stupid English internal and also a French internal. Sigh... the English internal kind of sucks all the fun out of "creative writing" as the internal is called. The best bit is the examples, however; the not achieved examples are hilariously bad. However there is an excellence example which really shouldn't be excellence; it's way too over descriptive which is obviously why it got E, just because of the good vocabulary. Look, over describing doesn't work. Just look at Twilight. Edward's SCINTILLATING ARMS? Really, Smeyer? SCINTILLATING ARMS? Glittering in the incandescent sunlight, light sparkles gracing his frame; the body of Adonis, GOD OF...something??? JEEEEESUS. Get real. hahahah.
I srsly love Sam's Town, though. DON'T GIVE THE GHOST UP, JUST CLENCH YOUR FIRSTS YOU SHOULD'A KNOWN BY NOW, YOU WERE ON MY LIST!
My favourite is by far THIS RIVER IS WIIIIIIIIIIIILD, GOD SPEED YA BOY!!!

Anyway I'm going to stop writing lyrics and just leave now. hurhurhur.
You know, everyone thinks I'm ~*~addicted~*~ to V because I keep buying them frequently. Okay okay so frequently buying them does nothing to help my innocence case, but I've done that with other drinks before! Cream Soda for example! Nothing wrong with frequently buying something you like, is there? I guess they're calling me out on it because of the general unhealthiness of it and the fact that I always complained about energy drinks. Hahaha. Although I do generally stand by what I say about people claiming to "need" them to wake up in the morning; they generally don't affect me, though I may act slightly more hyper at times.
So my plan is; if I ever buy a v, it will not be in the company of my friends. That means I lessen the amount of times I purchase said drink and also they can't be annoying. Haha. PROBLEM: SOLVED!!!!

Aaaah This River Is Wild. EPIC. EPIC EPIC!
anyway I'm leaving now

Sometimes I'm nervous, when I talk I SHAKE a little! hahah okay, shut up now.


Also: Happy 101st blog post, me! I know, I know. It's pretty great. Thanks, me. I appreciate it.

Partners in crime

I think I am going to die when I get The Resistance. I am desperately wanting to listen to Undisclosed Desires, which is the song everyone is going DO WANT about and with good reason. It's bizarre and makes me burst out laughing but it's seriously funky. Only Muse could make me like a song with "R&B and Timbaland influences" in it HAHAHA
Aaaaaaanyway..............................
'twas a very nice day today, sunny all the way through. Spent a lot of time randomly travelling in the car to places just because, 'twas nice. Haven't really done much, just been wasting supermega time on the internet as per usual. At home by myself WHOOOO SCARY GHOSTIES until... about five minutes in to the future I guess, when I believe ma mere shall return home.
PLEH
I want to be in a pwopah band. I mean really now. Everyone at school plays bass, drums, guitar etc etc and none of them ever seem to want to get together and play something, EVER. It is quite aggravating. I always want to just go somewhere, some awesome looking place and get a sucky guitar, a warm room and a laptop and record some sucky stuff!
And I want to get a camera, just a little digital one. (preferably green!) I just really want to record stuff. I've always been a little like that, back in the day in '04 I spent a lot of time opening sound studio, pressing record and just leaving it there while we did classwork. You end up with these ramblings while you're chatting and get some pretty cool stuff. Used to do that in 2002 as well, actually. There was a mega old computer with this simplistic recording thing and we'd sit there in the morning shouting nonsense in to it. It was much fun XDD
So yeah, I'd like to do that but with a camera, just recording the seemingly mundane. Like if going in to town with friends or something. Just record them all chatting or doing something absurd, and while it seems pointless and "no one cares you loser" it's interesting to just get clips of life as it passes in its "bleh nothing's happenin' y'all" state. Hahah. Good times.
Aww frig just remembered I have chapel in the morning. JEEZ
I have to get up EARLY! uuuuuuuuugh
anyway we plan to go in to town for breakfast and FUNTIMES AHOY!
HOORAY!
So you know it's not all bad.
Welp! It's 12.49 now, and I have to get up early, so I should PROBABLY GO!

hmm, note to self: blog suspiciously upbeat. Overuse of capitals, late night, reading ED is not advised. I do not wish for my brain to become a place full of swearing and complaining about the crappy things in the world. Dear god, there are a lot of crappy things in the world.

“WTF Hargrid?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.”

HAHAHA My Immortal. The best fanfiction ever. In a weird, twisted sense of the word.
Lol what an aggravating lame day.
I had sushi for lunch. It was yum! My mother didn't realise that sushi, ramen/udon noodles were Japanese food, as today she said "I've never had Japanese food before!"
In which I told her, "ma, Wagamama's is japanese food. Wagamama is a japanese word. Udon noodles and Ramen are Japanese. Sushi is JAPANESE."
so she then changed her wording to "I have Japanese food all the time!" hahaha.
Anyway, today a whole bunch of people were being SUPERCHUMPS.

It was only a couple of people really, but they're spoiling it for everyone else by saying a whole lot of crap like "OMG DA GROOP IS GOIN TO FALL APART!1!!!!" It's ridiculous. I also feel kind of annoyed by them saying this as they are a new person. I don't know why this counts for anything... it just seems that everything was fine until they came up and started acting absurd and making mountains out of molehills, figuratively but very certainly what they are doing. Them being a new person means that it seems they know all the logistics of our friends and have the tenacity to decide how everyone is behaving. Lol I know this is stupid but it bugs me for some reason. Which isn't really something I should do, always going "the old people" and "the new people." Although it is the truth. And I guess saying that means I don't find them to be a part of the friendship group. (Let me just add I hate using the word group. It's so damn aggravating, just like the phrase "hooking up." ARADGLAHDGOH)
I do find them to be a part- just that hey haven't been around as long so they can't quite make judgments and say things like "the group is falling apart!" when they've been around less than a year.
*facepalm*

Thing is, only a couple of people are mad at one another. This has gotten everyone else involved, and I hate discussing said things because it makes me feel like it's all just escalating if we talk about it. I don't know. Because, talking about it accepts that there's a problem and there really. really isn't. We're all (the sane ones that is) kind of pissed off at the crap starters now for being idiotic.

Basically, one person has gone crazy and decided that another friend has to stay away from her because she doesn't want to affect her? Or something? And so is trying to ignore her. One friend has decided to ~*~leave~*~ the group, some others think another one should be kicked out because she's too young and we might have a ~*~bad influence~*~ on her. FFS, we were FINE as far as goddamn influence goes before! Now we're flooded with people who are like LOL I'M CHEATING ON MAH BF WITH LYK 5 PEOPLE LOL"
okay so not that many. But you know. We were just a bit less vapid and guy obsessed to an annoying point than now.
One person, everyone is getting annoyed with (she's the LOL CHEATING one and the one who has decided the group is ~*falling apart~* and accusing people of random crap that I can't even remember now. She thinks the close relationship between two people is ruining the group (what the hell?) and that everyone hates this one other person (not true.) AARGH.
And Laura is all (from the happenings of today, no less!) I wanted to leave the group, I wanted to leave the school!
Eh. What?
I find some people's approach to dealing with things quite absurd.
Firstly, what's this LOL LEAVING THE GROUP 4 EVA BRB crap? It's like they can't deal. Apparently, people freak OUT about the possibility of LYK OMG HAVING A CRUSH ON SOMEONE! AND DEN THEY TOLD THE PERSON I HAVE A CRUSH ON! AND DEY HAVE A CRUSH ON ME LOL SO AWKWARD! TURNS OUT I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON THEM! WHOOPS I'D BETTA LEAVE COS IT'S RLLY AWKWARD AND SUCKY. kthx

So I guess that's the deal? And it's so pathetic and everyone's getting reallly riled up and I guess it can be mainly pinpointed to one shit-stirrer. WHOOP-DEE-DO!

Anyway. Let's get away from that angry ranting note and move on to other good stuff!
I PRE-ORDERED THE MUSE LIMITED EDITION BOX SET!! WHOO!!!! It's rad. RAD. TOTALLY RAD.
And here's something I wanted to do: A PICSPAM! WHOOOOO!
Is that six facepalms I hear in the distance?
OH WELL. =| srsface.
This is my chance to blatantly squee over Muse, okay? So... just deal with it for now. You get exciting pictures and you can ignore the keyboardmash. (I have to do it at some point, okay? OKAY?)


'Tis one of my favourite pictures, it's so sparkly. I suggest clicking to enlarge if you happen to care. XD



The annoying thing about blogger is that it puts the html for a picture at the top so you have to move it. RE: The picture: adfhasodighasgoih =D



He looks like a bird here. An awesome weird bird. ...Yeah. XD



This picture is absurd and therefore awesome. LOOK AT HIS FACE. XD



This picture be one of my favourites. =D



\o/!!!!!!!!!



AOGHASFOGHASFDOIGYQROEH WHAT



I have noticed that I seem to have a large amount of really freaky hilarious pictures of Dom. XD Anyway this picture is ASDOIGHASGIOH =D Matt looks FLUFFY. I know that's really rather odd but just look! LOOK. LOOK AT THIS PICTURE. FLUFFY. NOSE. MOUTH. WEIRD FLUFFY. What? Don't kill me for squeeing over pictures! /o\



LOOK AT HIS HAIR. LOOK AT IT. asdgehoflooooooooo



HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT.



WHOOO random piano srs picture ftw!



ASDGHADFDFHPERIYQOIUERSNDFBSMDGNBSJHEARGV HERGDFSJIJDFHGAODHGAVOUHTOPUAIHVIOPH OMG
=D =D =D =D HEADPHONES AND AARRGH



FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
=D =D =D I love this one it's aaaaah. =D!!!



ASDUHASOGUHASGOIH~!!!!! Best. There are a lot moar pictures that I want to add other than these ones but I'm not going to just to be nice I guess. XD



ORIGIN OF FLUFFINESS



AGAHSGOPIASHGSOIGH I know my comments are so intelligent and insightful. Shut up. (There's a girl in my form class who is doing year 13 maths. I... I feel so inferior. /o\)



Hahaha this picture is cute in a weird sort of way.

And now, a lulzy Matt picture:


And three pictures of Dom that just kill me. XDD




HAHAHA BEST

anyway that's all, finally!
Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodbye!

When life gives you lemons, punch someone in the face.

What.
This is how my brain works: lemons. seven! punching people!
Had an exciting wondrous sleepover of idiocy yesterday at the house of Jordan's which is amazing gorgeous with a view over the beach, Rangitoto and Browns Island, this loft room, it's just amazing. =D
Anyway it was pretty weird, I discovered that for some reason everyone thinks I'm an innocent cute person. Wut
The other day I suggested we make a band, everyone joined and I was promptly not a leading force in the creation of the band so I left. XDD BRB DOIN' SOLO CAREER
You know an impossible genre of music? Punk prog-rock. Punk songs- super fast drumming, yelling fast lyrics and dirnt dirnt bass lines. Prog rock, super long elaborate instrumentals with some word salad lyrics to go along. IT JUST WOULDN'T WORK. XDD
I need to sleep I had four hours sleep and went to bed at five ughhhh what the hell is with life. gtfo.
What did I have to do for guitar? uh... some songs... sure.
WHATEVERS.
asdgjawrevsnfaehptuywupioqwopriyeuorjsdf
asfkhgsfohbgojdbjrthnebnjdfg
gtasgdoghfdm
anyway I want to read fanfic for some weird reason? I don't actually know why, OH WELL I feel like venturing on to ff.net and laughing at all the atrocities... then again... maybe not. I get exceptionally paranoid whenever I go there. I don't know why. Why would I get more paranoid when going to a website? If I'm going to be spied upon, it would be always. so why aren't I paranoid when going to other sites? I'M NOT AT ALL PARANOID. But stick me on ff.net and if I go to the telletubbies section so I can laugh at all the summaries and then press the back button and go cry for my childhood, I'll assume there's someone watching me and thinking I actually WANT to read telletubbies fanfic. Oh dear god no.
For the record I have never been to the telletubbies area and I do not intend to. EVER.
(seriously though, there is a certain area of ff.net that I went to and just laughed until I cried at all the atrocious fic summaries. dear god. I really really want to go back but I don't think I have the willpower to face the badfic. XDD)
Maybe I'll go play the sims 2 instead. Or, you know, do homework. ughhh whatever.
I've sworn off energy drinks 4 EVA ND EVA!!!! If the chance arises for me to buy one, I REFUSE TO. So there. We had good times, but... THEY CHANGED ME. I WENT AGAINST EVERYTHING I USED TO STAND FOR! I BECAME EVERYTHING I HATED. LYK OH MY GOODNESS.
I have to go now before I die?~?!?!!?!?
I have eaten basically pure junk food for the last few days. Pray for Mojo.

Ahoy-hoy, lowly mortals!

STUFF IS PRETTY GOOD, GUYS!!!!
So I still suck at the piano but I'm working on that!
AFI are seriously awesome!
It's the weekend!
I just remembered that I have a group lesson tomorrow for piano! That's not so good!
I kind of love AFI!
No one else in my household seems to!
I've been playing the sims 2 and it's pretty fun!
So I'm happy. =]
Welp! I've been saying welp a lot recently.
Yeah.
G'JBYE!

Insufferable Troglodytes! Or some such thing.

Number of times mistaken for a guy: 10.
Hurhurhur. I have to wonder. That's only the number of times I have been aware that people thought I was a guy- something they would have said to me. Yesterday it was "are you two boys enjoying your holidays?" Oooh, it's bad when shop people say it. I feel bad and I have to get out of there. Don't really mind otherwise, but I just feel really weird having the word "boy" associated with me because it doesn't feel right at all. I'm a girl, people! Despite any evidence to the contrary.
So yeah, if people who have talked to me think I'm a guy, I wonder how many people who just see me walking along think I am a guy. Hahaha. Personally I don't really see how- my face doesn't seem particularly guyish. It seems more, girlishly structured. I guess it's just the hair and the clothes. XDD

I am reading 1984! Finally. That sure angers up the blood, much like reading Animal Farm did. Hahah. There's something about those books, you know the ideas in them that make me want to go AAARRRGGH WHYYY!!!!! HBNARRGHGSKANAGHAE!!!!! Those stupid pigs in Animal Farm and the insane! stuff in 1984. Daaaaaaaamn. Truly impossible to do anything! But the freakiest part was when that guy who was working on the dictionary goes on about how the language will eventually be structured to be only a few small words, and that all of history and literature from the past would be erased, no shakespeare, no nothing. Just a few root words and their stemming words, ie, "good". Becomes ungood, or bonusgood or superbigbonusgood (or whatever it was) replacing words like marvellous! wonderful! fantastic! and so on. And the fact that people actually go along with this and manage to be completely brainwashed by this insanity and the insensitivity towards violence, AAERRRRGGHH!!! Anywho, it's great. Although Winston sure was a super jerkass kid. O_o

ANYWAY!
I verily much want Muse to hurry up and release the next parts of the United States Of Eurasia song. But I guess I have to be patient while people run around the Eurasian landmass at geostrategically placed points... or some such thing. XD
Welp. I guess that's all. Fascinating I know.... =D


Edit: WOAH. WOAH. Okay. So United States Of Eurasia starts with this soulful piano, some violins and whatnot in the background, some gentle lyrics, tra la la, very nice to listen to. Presently some quiet drums start in the background, just a slow rhythm. But this only goes for about a minute, and out of nowhere- he gets angry, crescendo!! loud!!!! HIGH PITCH, WAILING GUITARS!!!! Basically Bohemian Rhapsody if you need any idea hahah. Matt's voice is very strong! Loud drums and then we suddenly get this bizarre arabian thing going on, some clapping/clicking stuff (they recorded in a bathroom?) thudding drums WHOOOOOOOO!!!!
And that's all for now. ARASGHASGKASGLAKSJGWORIHT
=D

Aw, hell diddly-ding-dong-crap!

I'm in yet another "thinking about my issues" mood.
See, it all began perhaps an hour ago or so, and see, I was emptying the dishwasher and whatnot and thinking about all this stuff in elaborate terms, when yet again it has come to the point where I don't have to talk about it on this blog as it has all been cleared up in my head. Hoorah. (As the point of thinking about all those things was to talk about them in the blog, but then I think about it enough in my head that I no longer have to discuss it. I'm going to discuss it anyway, as articulately as I can. Damn, I didn't think "articulately" would be an actual word. Anyway.)
Mmm, Whittaker's is deliciously good chocolate. Take that, Cadbury!
Here's something. I never ever ever talk about piano. Ever.
So today as I was sitting on the couch, whoop-dee-do, my brother is saying something to my ma. I didn't notice what, but my ma responds with "that's because you're a good piano player and she's a crap one." I waited a few seconds before saying, "what did you say mother? What did you say? What did you just say, mother?" She didn't know what I was talking about and I wasn't about to press matters.
See I've been playing piano for nine years, my brother is four years younger than me and at the same level, just a tad further. He has a different piano teacher to me; one who progresses a lot faster.
I've been playing piano for nine years, and never once have I received a shred of encouragement, not a dot of motivation. Just told, hey there play piano- quit bashing the keys! UR DOIN IT RONG.
So I wanted to quit so much, so so so much and yet I couldn't. I could not ever ever quit, there was no way. I couldn't. And I still can't and I don't want to.
Also, I've never had motivation to play till now; which is why I find it so difficult to be motivated anyway. I'll go, "ALRIGHT. I HAVE A GOAL. LET'S DO THIS...aww, jeez, I can't be freakin' bothered. I'll do it tomorrow."
I'm that way with everything, actually, but that's irrelevant.
Sooooo, I guess you could say that motivation is Matt Bellamy? Okay, okay, yeah the dude from Muse and everyone is sick of hearing me talk about Muse- but if someone I knew liked Muse as much as I do and talked about them with me, maybe I wouldn't go on about them all the time to everyone else as much. Srsly though, the only songs my friends know by them are Starlight and Supermassive Black Hole. Before I perused the internet to find out about Muse, I thought Starlight was a gorgeous song! That piano, guys. Great! But turns out it's kind of hated for being a single, and being more simplistic, generally considered pretty sucky to the max. Well daaaaaamn. Anywho, I facepalmed nontheless when the only songs my friends knew were Starlight and SMBH. (Excluding Alice- I know you know more songs XD)
So yeah, Matt- he's a mad lunatic genius and sometimes I worry about him- he seems deadly serious about some of his conspiracy theories, but that's okay. XD
But yeah, he's a ridiculously good pianist and okay, I feel like I'm too old to become a good pianist anymore, because I'm 15 and that's always too late to become an amazing talent, you have to be four years old and playing FANTASIE IMPROMPTU, or, 15 and playing FANTASIE IMPROMPTU. (Uh yeah there's a girl in my year who can play that. Hmph.)
And, so far, he's the only inspiration I've ever had to keep playing the piano. And, okay, I do suck at the piano- all my friends will go "NO YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE AMAZING!" but that's only because they don't play piano and they're my friends. So yes. I do suck. But for my mother to say that in front of my face while not actually talking to me is kind of the worst thing for anyone to hear. Maybe I do suck, but it would be nice to hear some encouragement once in a while! Some sign that you want me to continue playing!
So sometimes when I get most inspired to do stuff, to BE THE BEST EVER AT EVERYTHING I DO, I'm fueled by anger and spite. Which is probably not good but, thing is, it always fades and I lose the moment, the moment of I'M GOING TO SHOW EVERYONE, THE BASTARDS.
Because I do that a lot, and I always don't do it. But now I feel that I have to do something, I've already lost the will to try hard but I can't. I have to be better so that one day, I can go: "I'd like to say thank you, to my friends, for being awesome most of the time, thanks to my father, my brother, you people are alright. Thank you for choosing me to have this, uh "good at the piano" award. Cheers."
And for my mother to go- hang on. Where's my thanks? And to confront me later.
"Oh, your thanks? Yeah. Thanks, ma, for never believing in me. Thanks for never helping me. Thanks for making me do my best with no help whatsoever. I had to drag myself up from the pit of sucky all by myself with no encouragement, no words, no help. Thanks."
Thanks a lot.
That's not sincere, by the way. In case you hadn't noticed, I was being somewhat sarcastic.
I could go on, talk about other things, about how sometimes I am deeply angered by stuff, but I tend to do that a lot, and you know, start delving in to all my ISSUES AS A PERSON and why I hate it whenever anyone does anything. But I won't.
I think I'll just leave it at that, whoop-dee-freakin'-do.

Feelin' fine.

I remember, years ago seeing 2001: A Space Odyssey. I was at maungawhai (I don't know how you spell that, eheh) I think it was easter. Hahah I was just thinking about it today. I didn't see the whole thing but I remembered there was an evil computer who killed people and when they shut it down it sung "daisy, daisy!" WEIRD. I want to watch that movie again it sounds cool. Anyway. I really have to do my speech.
Speech speech! Gotta do that... NOW. NOW. NOW!!!
Muse slash fails. Do you know why? Because they're DOIN' IT RONG.
seriously, it's not some ridiculous "OH DOM I LOVE YOU LET'S RUN AWAY TOGETHER!" "BUT MATT, WHAT WILL CHRIS DO?!" "OH IT'S OKAY, HE HAS TOM!!! LOLOLOL" AND THEY RUN OFF IN TO THE SUNSET AND HAVE ALIEN BABIES.
NO.
Lol I was on the slash comm on el jay and... NO NO NO. I came across a highly traumatic and disturbing chris/tom one, I just uhhh skimmed it before closing it because DO NOT WANT. ahahahahhahahaha seriously. It has to be ridiculous. That's basically it. Think hullabaloo! Set to angsty hyper chondriac music. AHAHAH
WHAT
Anyway. I had another traumatic and highly disturbing dream last night. (I'd had a disturbing dream on either monday or tuesday night.) Yyyyyyyyyyyyeah. it was truly bizarre. And what was odd, was that I woke up and went back to sleep and the dream continued in the same vein. Usually when you go back to sleep you have an entirely different dream. The first part was okay, if not highly odd. It... well I was thinking along with the dream, "yeah, go you! admitting it and all!" but afterwards I figured it was fairly odd. The dream then mutated in to a whole pile of rubbish designed to infuriate and distress me. Without being nightmarish! For the most part. At the last part, I was going oh god please let this be a dream oh god this had better not be real- OH THANK GOD, THIS IS A DREAM! NOW I JUST HAVE TO WAKE UP! and lo and behold I woke up, and lay there for a while feeling severely freaked out.
Today we went in to town. I got a t shirt. I GOT A T SHIRT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.
EPIC PROPORTIONS. eheheheheeheheh.
Now, I must go search the interweb for info on Scientology so I can write my speech. Eeeeep.


Edit: AW CRAP IT'S 11.30 NOW!!! WHY IS TIME GOING SO FAST?!?? I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING. GODDD HELP ME
well I only have myself to blame. AARRRGH SCREW YOU, SPEECHES!
Also, screw you, tvtropes! DO YOU KNOW HOW ADDICTING THAT STUPID SITE IS. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW JUST HOW MUCH IT IS. GODDAMMIT.

Sucky to the max

Okay I'm pissed. I missed the Green Day presale tickets (it was only for 24 hours jeez) and my old email account deactivated, a cool person on livejournal deleted their account, my facebook account was banned a few days ago and they didn't bother to explain why, I have another week of school and only a fortnight of holidays, I have a maths internal and a speech to do, JESUS CHRIST THIS IS A WHOLE LOAD OF CRAP.
Also I am using a sucky loaner computer! IT IS SUCKY TO THE MAX. It never goes to sleep? so you'll close it but it will stay on. So it's really hot and it dies quickly. Also the resolution of the screen is messed up and I don't know how to fix it, so whenever I scroll down it goes all slow and jerky and everything is wide and blurry. Ugh!
Also we got an external hard drive which is cool. Hmm.
Ssooooo.
I had stuff to say but I think I'll say it some other day. For now I should sleep or something... I have to write a speech. Yeah, yeah I have to do that. And, uh, learn it off by heart or some such thing. God. I'm screwed.
Good...night????