OMG

HI BLOGGER I HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU IN SO LONG I'M SO SORRY
JUST THAT THINGS WITH ME AND LIVEJOURNAL HAVE BEEN IMPROVING AND I'VE JUST KIND OF NEGLECTED YOU
SO SORRY
=[

Dear blogspot,

I like Livejournal more than you.
AGAIN.
I'm fickle on the wind yeah.
GOT ICONS
GOT COLOUR
GOT COMMUNITIES
GOT FIC
YOU GOT WORDS
AND QUIET UNASSUMING FASCINATIONS.
And if you ever see a journal hanging around that might belong to me... it's not me.
Plz to not be blackmailing/reading/assuming.
CEASE AND DESIST.
Don't listen to a word she says.
I'll write what I like.

John Paul, you my main man

HELP, I'm still an utterly paranoid lunatic looner nutcase psychopath
okay I'm not a psychopath but I am an utterly paranoid loser. I need someone to slap me,I need a general in the military, to slap me and shout "GET YO ACT TOGETHER, YOU LITTLE MAGGOT!! AIN'T NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, OR YOUR PATHETIC LIFE! DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!!!"
And then kick me so I fall over while trying to do twenty pushups
...actually I'm not really sure how this will help me get over my paranoia
is there anything you can do to stop being paranoid? It's completely irrational. But I can't heeeeeeeeeeeelp it. Heeeeeeeelp me!
You know, I think I know what helped me to become paranoid. THE SCHOOL. WITH THEIR CLAIMS OF WATCHING YOU WHEN YOU USE YOUR COMPUTER. SPYING ON YOU. ALL. THE DAMN. TIME.
THAT is why I am so paranoid. It's not like I'm looking up "how to blow up your school" on google or anything, I'm just paranoid! Like I said, it IS irrational, so yeah. But I think I can fairly say that's one of the causes for my paranoia. I mean it's not like anyone CARES what I'm doing (irrational, remember) but I can't but help think that I'll go "I TOTALLY think there should be Tony Harrison/Saboo fanfiction" and look it up for the lolz, and someone will be spying on me and go "WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS PERSON, ARREST HER IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!"
Also... I don't think I want Tony Harrison/Saboo fanfiction. That sounds...disturbing as hell, because you know, Tony Harrison is a pink bladder with tentacles. So.
The paranoia only happens when I feel particularly stupid about something, something I feel inherently embarrassed about because god knows why. So it's EVEN MORE STUPID, because I'm not paranoid ALL THE TIME, just some of the time. It's getting ridiculous.
Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

A peculiar coincidence happened today (I guess it wasn't reeeeeeeaally a coincidence, but it did strike me as rather peculiar.)
oh, yeah, and the Big Day Out was that thing that happened the other day? Yeah.
The Horrors, you guys! We were right up the front, it was most excellent. Although I didn't actually know any of their songs really, it was still cool, and the crowd was a bit crazy, I was practically falling over a lot of the time.

Anyway, I think I sat down for about, 45 minutes? In the course of the whole day? And it was a long day. And my feet were dead. The day after, I could barely walk. BUT! I have made a full recovery, hurrah hooray.
And of course there was MUSE.
MUSE YOU GUYS
Oh god they were so wonderful. I was in the D area, but quite far to the back, and there were lots of tall people and my vision was rather impaired by their height. Which was sucky and lame, I didn't get to see Chris headbanging like a lunatic, or Matt playing the guitar behind his head in Plug In Baby, or leaning against the amp, or doing a little floor slide, etc, etc.
BUT it was still great and wonderful and delightful, and they played Nishe, I mean wow. I was just listening to that now. XD

And I have ~*~officially~*~ scrobbled Muse 2000 times! I've listened to them more than that, but you know, that proves it's the bare minimum. XD

ANYWAY someone on the Muse boards (actually the guy I got my resistance boxset from, whoo!) said that if they returned it would probably be in November or December. OH PLEASE BE TRUE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (let me get what I want)
So yeah, they must return immediately. Ie in twelve months, whatever. So that I can arrive early, and get an excellent spot in the pit of mosh. So I can see everything, and be close to the front yet still able to jump up and down. (The jumping up and down at BDO was aweeeesome. So much fun!)

ANYWAY. I think that's all I have to report for now. I've been all obsessive and internet lurking as usual, and of course I have no one to uh, "squee" with, you know, because of that whole paranoia/embarrassment thing I have going on. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE IT COMES FROM, GUYS. I'M JUST...INHERENTLY EMBARRASSED ABOUT SOME THINGS, AND NOT OTHERS!! WHAT THE HELL?!

Guysssssss help me stop being paranoid, ookay?!?!


Also. My laptop is a pile of crap. It keeps
ELECTROCUTING ME
WHAT THE HELL
THIS IS BOLLOCKS
piece of junk. Stupid dells. Never buy a dell. They're crap okay.

Now, have this super awesome comic by Kate Beaton, who is also awesome. I think you should click on it. Okay.
Also: JAM!

Ohhhhhh god

Amongst other things, I don't think I'll ever quite be able to understand the Supernatural fandom. And... other fandoms, of a similar bent, or, fans...who... ship things...like...that.

*whimpers*

I might change my layout again.

...
Seriously, though. That's just
so
wrong
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sure, you can be all "well, if it's two responsible adults then I have no problem with it!"
but you know, if they're fictional and it is quite clear that such a situation would not have them acting in such a manner, well I think it's fairly understandable that someone would be squicked.
I just... wow.
They're quite serious, too!
...I have to go now.



Oh, also? A 41 second video, and now I want to watch Star Trek. That was honestly all it took. Oh boy. XD

Hang on-

Wait a moment. Wait a moment. Wait... wait. Just... just wait a moment there. Wait. Wait a moment.
I'm going to be SEVENTEEN THIS YEAR!?!?!?!?
Excuse me for a moment.


OHSHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time

Whoooooooooo-hoooo lyrics? Time? Pink Floyd? That song kind of scares me because well.
Read them.
Here is a really long ramble I made. Yay?
It seems only yesterday that I was a young child with a passion for jazz-rock fusion…

Oh. Well, then.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo my laptop got a virus, I got it fixed though, but this came at the price of reimaging- fortunately I backed up all my things, and also they didn't delete any of my stuff. Apart from all the applications I had downloaded, games, msn etc, and most annoyingly firefox's history was completely wiped, including all my billions of bookmarks.
*sigh!*
It's not that bad, just very annoying and kind of saddening. But then I guess it's okay to have a fresh start. And it's a good thing I backed up the data for the sims 2 and warcraft because they got deleted. Quelle dommage!
It's just a little aggravating, but it's still good, it's still good.

And I had a good dream about Doctor Who that I have not been able to shut up about because it amused me to a great extent. Hurr. =D
So I guess things are pretty alright, otherwise!!! Well goodybe then eh.

STOP IT

Hi there,
stop being paranoid, there is no one behind you. And if there were I doubt they would be laughing at you for beling "lyk omg a total loser rofl!!!"
srsly though, the paranoia is not leaving, dammit this always happens. And I don't have it all the time it's only when I'm irrationally embarrassed by something. Epic fail!
I have no reason to be paranoid, no reason to be embarrassed by whatever random unexpected obsessions I have, but THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS
I'm just going to go, okay? And not be paranoid. DAMN IT ALL, I'M NOT GOING TO BE PARANOID!
There that's it. Goodbye.
Okay I'm losing my nerve, OKAY OKAY OKAY, FINE, FINE, THERE'S NO ONE THERE.

Aah, I managed to survive. Barely. What the hell is wrong with me I don't even know dammit

Time is running out

seriously though, it is.
I managed to wake up kind of early today. 9.40 ish. Not early, but early for me. Buhhhh I've only been able to get to sleep at around 2 in the morning and it sucks. So I decided to get up earlier, so that I would be more tired, so that I would get to sleep faster.
Uh that's all I have to say right now.

Edit: we just found a spider on a shoe OH GOD OH GOD IT'S HORRENDOUS

Everyone secretly likes slap bass

Well I got my boxset and it is uber pretty. Mayhaps I shall take pictures of it. The vinyls have awesome covers. Now I just need to find something to play them on.
I watched Hullabalooooooooooo today, and it was pretty rad. I want to watch it again. Going to watch disc 2 now methinks, despite its mild, uh... strangeness... still awesome though. And complete with freaky music, yay.
Holidays are fairly uninspiring. Generally end up playing games excessively, ie Warcraft III or the sims 2, which is the current trend. Getting a bit boring however, it seems less interesting when you can cheat the whole time. XDD It does let you concentrate on other stuff but ehhhhhhhh
It's September already. September 25th, precisely. Which means it is my birthday in two weeks, which is pretty lame. My birthday is rather unfortunately placed this year. I get to celebrate it on the first day back at school. Whoop-de-freakin'-doo.
I get the feeling it will be more depressing than good- ie, it will suck to have my birthday on the first day back, rather than my birthday being an event that will improve the lameness of the day. Sheesh, way to be pessimistic.

So I have to find some old Green Day music and listen to it otherwise I will just be a lame person who goes to a concert and only knows the new stuff which isn't really that cool. Yeah.
Have I ever mentioned wanting to be in a band? No? Never? Well I want to be in a band.
Oh and also daylight saving already? Tomorrow? Bwuh? This year has gone too quickly mmkay this ought not to be tolerated. I mean seriously, next year is 2010, WHAT IS THE FREAKIN' DEAL. Also where the hell is my jetpack and flying car? Tsk tsk fortune predictors!
Well I'm going to leave now. Au revoir
And it doesn't even feel like a Friday today! And I don't really like Friday nights because I tend to watch too much tv and I don't like watching too much tv. Blah.
Goodbye!
hahah also I looked at my old apple laptop and read all my old stickies and seriously, what the hell, what the HELL

blah

Hmm so Lucy's party was good, I had fun, I was muy happy afterwards for some reason. Anyway the week has been going pretty fast and I haven't even really noticed that it's almost the end of term because I've been busy waiting for my Myooose box set which HASN'T ARRIVED and everyone is annoyed because there have been lots of delays in getting them sent and whatnot. LE SIGH!
Have a science test tomorrow, blah... yeah.
Blah it's 10.00... I never get things done.
I'll just wait for my boxset. Which will have to come tomorrow or I may be turned in to a mad raving lunatic. =[
well gj'bye!

Lol Undisclosed Desires

Yay one can insert a text break or a "cut" in lj speak! In the case that you may have many words to say, but they take up a great deal of space. Intrigued readers may CLICK THE CUT and more words will appear! WOW!!!!
Oooh, look, italics and bolds! I didn't notice those before. hi?
Wow! I'm in the compose section, and there's loads of things one can change! YOU CAN MAKE LISTS!!!

• lol hi guys
• baked beans aren't very nice
• so today I had this piano thing
• it went for an hour twenty
• I had a pepsi today
• Matt Bellamy is really good at the piano and it's not fair okay

also, quotes!
lolwut????

my name is billy bob and I proclaim that all hamburgers be abolished!

anyway. yeah.
here's a text break of despair for you.

Partners in crime

I think I am going to die when I get The Resistance. I am desperately wanting to listen to Undisclosed Desires, which is the song everyone is going DO WANT about and with good reason. It's bizarre and makes me burst out laughing but it's seriously funky. Only Muse could make me like a song with "R&B and Timbaland influences" in it HAHAHA
Aaaaaaanyway..............................
'twas a very nice day today, sunny all the way through. Spent a lot of time randomly travelling in the car to places just because, 'twas nice. Haven't really done much, just been wasting supermega time on the internet as per usual. At home by myself WHOOOO SCARY GHOSTIES until... about five minutes in to the future I guess, when I believe ma mere shall return home.
PLEH
I want to be in a pwopah band. I mean really now. Everyone at school plays bass, drums, guitar etc etc and none of them ever seem to want to get together and play something, EVER. It is quite aggravating. I always want to just go somewhere, some awesome looking place and get a sucky guitar, a warm room and a laptop and record some sucky stuff!
And I want to get a camera, just a little digital one. (preferably green!) I just really want to record stuff. I've always been a little like that, back in the day in '04 I spent a lot of time opening sound studio, pressing record and just leaving it there while we did classwork. You end up with these ramblings while you're chatting and get some pretty cool stuff. Used to do that in 2002 as well, actually. There was a mega old computer with this simplistic recording thing and we'd sit there in the morning shouting nonsense in to it. It was much fun XDD
So yeah, I'd like to do that but with a camera, just recording the seemingly mundane. Like if going in to town with friends or something. Just record them all chatting or doing something absurd, and while it seems pointless and "no one cares you loser" it's interesting to just get clips of life as it passes in its "bleh nothing's happenin' y'all" state. Hahah. Good times.
Aww frig just remembered I have chapel in the morning. JEEZ
I have to get up EARLY! uuuuuuuuugh
anyway we plan to go in to town for breakfast and FUNTIMES AHOY!
HOORAY!
So you know it's not all bad.
Welp! It's 12.49 now, and I have to get up early, so I should PROBABLY GO!

hmm, note to self: blog suspiciously upbeat. Overuse of capitals, late night, reading ED is not advised. I do not wish for my brain to become a place full of swearing and complaining about the crappy things in the world. Dear god, there are a lot of crappy things in the world.

“WTF Hargrid?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.”

HAHAHA My Immortal. The best fanfiction ever. In a weird, twisted sense of the word.
Lol what an aggravating lame day.
I had sushi for lunch. It was yum! My mother didn't realise that sushi, ramen/udon noodles were Japanese food, as today she said "I've never had Japanese food before!"
In which I told her, "ma, Wagamama's is japanese food. Wagamama is a japanese word. Udon noodles and Ramen are Japanese. Sushi is JAPANESE."
so she then changed her wording to "I have Japanese food all the time!" hahaha.
Anyway, today a whole bunch of people were being SUPERCHUMPS.

It was only a couple of people really, but they're spoiling it for everyone else by saying a whole lot of crap like "OMG DA GROOP IS GOIN TO FALL APART!1!!!!" It's ridiculous. I also feel kind of annoyed by them saying this as they are a new person. I don't know why this counts for anything... it just seems that everything was fine until they came up and started acting absurd and making mountains out of molehills, figuratively but very certainly what they are doing. Them being a new person means that it seems they know all the logistics of our friends and have the tenacity to decide how everyone is behaving. Lol I know this is stupid but it bugs me for some reason. Which isn't really something I should do, always going "the old people" and "the new people." Although it is the truth. And I guess saying that means I don't find them to be a part of the friendship group. (Let me just add I hate using the word group. It's so damn aggravating, just like the phrase "hooking up." ARADGLAHDGOH)
I do find them to be a part- just that hey haven't been around as long so they can't quite make judgments and say things like "the group is falling apart!" when they've been around less than a year.
*facepalm*

Thing is, only a couple of people are mad at one another. This has gotten everyone else involved, and I hate discussing said things because it makes me feel like it's all just escalating if we talk about it. I don't know. Because, talking about it accepts that there's a problem and there really. really isn't. We're all (the sane ones that is) kind of pissed off at the crap starters now for being idiotic.

Basically, one person has gone crazy and decided that another friend has to stay away from her because she doesn't want to affect her? Or something? And so is trying to ignore her. One friend has decided to ~*~leave~*~ the group, some others think another one should be kicked out because she's too young and we might have a ~*~bad influence~*~ on her. FFS, we were FINE as far as goddamn influence goes before! Now we're flooded with people who are like LOL I'M CHEATING ON MAH BF WITH LYK 5 PEOPLE LOL"
okay so not that many. But you know. We were just a bit less vapid and guy obsessed to an annoying point than now.
One person, everyone is getting annoyed with (she's the LOL CHEATING one and the one who has decided the group is ~*falling apart~* and accusing people of random crap that I can't even remember now. She thinks the close relationship between two people is ruining the group (what the hell?) and that everyone hates this one other person (not true.) AARGH.
And Laura is all (from the happenings of today, no less!) I wanted to leave the group, I wanted to leave the school!
Eh. What?
I find some people's approach to dealing with things quite absurd.
Firstly, what's this LOL LEAVING THE GROUP 4 EVA BRB crap? It's like they can't deal. Apparently, people freak OUT about the possibility of LYK OMG HAVING A CRUSH ON SOMEONE! AND DEN THEY TOLD THE PERSON I HAVE A CRUSH ON! AND DEY HAVE A CRUSH ON ME LOL SO AWKWARD! TURNS OUT I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON THEM! WHOOPS I'D BETTA LEAVE COS IT'S RLLY AWKWARD AND SUCKY. kthx

So I guess that's the deal? And it's so pathetic and everyone's getting reallly riled up and I guess it can be mainly pinpointed to one shit-stirrer. WHOOP-DEE-DO!

Anyway. Let's get away from that angry ranting note and move on to other good stuff!
I PRE-ORDERED THE MUSE LIMITED EDITION BOX SET!! WHOO!!!! It's rad. RAD. TOTALLY RAD.
And here's something I wanted to do: A PICSPAM! WHOOOOO!
Is that six facepalms I hear in the distance?
OH WELL. =| srsface.
This is my chance to blatantly squee over Muse, okay? So... just deal with it for now. You get exciting pictures and you can ignore the keyboardmash. (I have to do it at some point, okay? OKAY?)


'Tis one of my favourite pictures, it's so sparkly. I suggest clicking to enlarge if you happen to care. XD



The annoying thing about blogger is that it puts the html for a picture at the top so you have to move it. RE: The picture: adfhasodighasgoih =D



He looks like a bird here. An awesome weird bird. ...Yeah. XD



This picture is absurd and therefore awesome. LOOK AT HIS FACE. XD



This picture be one of my favourites. =D



\o/!!!!!!!!!



AOGHASFOGHASFDOIGYQROEH WHAT



I have noticed that I seem to have a large amount of really freaky hilarious pictures of Dom. XD Anyway this picture is ASDOIGHASGIOH =D Matt looks FLUFFY. I know that's really rather odd but just look! LOOK. LOOK AT THIS PICTURE. FLUFFY. NOSE. MOUTH. WEIRD FLUFFY. What? Don't kill me for squeeing over pictures! /o\



LOOK AT HIS HAIR. LOOK AT IT. asdgehoflooooooooo



HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT.



WHOOO random piano srs picture ftw!



ASDGHADFDFHPERIYQOIUERSNDFBSMDGNBSJHEARGV HERGDFSJIJDFHGAODHGAVOUHTOPUAIHVIOPH OMG
=D =D =D =D HEADPHONES AND AARRGH



FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
=D =D =D I love this one it's aaaaah. =D!!!



ASDUHASOGUHASGOIH~!!!!! Best. There are a lot moar pictures that I want to add other than these ones but I'm not going to just to be nice I guess. XD



ORIGIN OF FLUFFINESS



AGAHSGOPIASHGSOIGH I know my comments are so intelligent and insightful. Shut up. (There's a girl in my form class who is doing year 13 maths. I... I feel so inferior. /o\)



Hahaha this picture is cute in a weird sort of way.

And now, a lulzy Matt picture:


And three pictures of Dom that just kill me. XDD




HAHAHA BEST

anyway that's all, finally!
Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodbye!

When life gives you lemons, punch someone in the face.

What.
This is how my brain works: lemons. seven! punching people!
Had an exciting wondrous sleepover of idiocy yesterday at the house of Jordan's which is amazing gorgeous with a view over the beach, Rangitoto and Browns Island, this loft room, it's just amazing. =D
Anyway it was pretty weird, I discovered that for some reason everyone thinks I'm an innocent cute person. Wut
The other day I suggested we make a band, everyone joined and I was promptly not a leading force in the creation of the band so I left. XDD BRB DOIN' SOLO CAREER
You know an impossible genre of music? Punk prog-rock. Punk songs- super fast drumming, yelling fast lyrics and dirnt dirnt bass lines. Prog rock, super long elaborate instrumentals with some word salad lyrics to go along. IT JUST WOULDN'T WORK. XDD
I need to sleep I had four hours sleep and went to bed at five ughhhh what the hell is with life. gtfo.
What did I have to do for guitar? uh... some songs... sure.
WHATEVERS.
asdgjawrevsnfaehptuywupioqwopriyeuorjsdf
asfkhgsfohbgojdbjrthnebnjdfg
gtasgdoghfdm
anyway I want to read fanfic for some weird reason? I don't actually know why, OH WELL I feel like venturing on to ff.net and laughing at all the atrocities... then again... maybe not. I get exceptionally paranoid whenever I go there. I don't know why. Why would I get more paranoid when going to a website? If I'm going to be spied upon, it would be always. so why aren't I paranoid when going to other sites? I'M NOT AT ALL PARANOID. But stick me on ff.net and if I go to the telletubbies section so I can laugh at all the summaries and then press the back button and go cry for my childhood, I'll assume there's someone watching me and thinking I actually WANT to read telletubbies fanfic. Oh dear god no.
For the record I have never been to the telletubbies area and I do not intend to. EVER.
(seriously though, there is a certain area of ff.net that I went to and just laughed until I cried at all the atrocious fic summaries. dear god. I really really want to go back but I don't think I have the willpower to face the badfic. XDD)
Maybe I'll go play the sims 2 instead. Or, you know, do homework. ughhh whatever.
I've sworn off energy drinks 4 EVA ND EVA!!!! If the chance arises for me to buy one, I REFUSE TO. So there. We had good times, but... THEY CHANGED ME. I WENT AGAINST EVERYTHING I USED TO STAND FOR! I BECAME EVERYTHING I HATED. LYK OH MY GOODNESS.
I have to go now before I die?~?!?!!?!?
I have eaten basically pure junk food for the last few days. Pray for Mojo.

Hmph

I need to stop getting overly upset from single tiny comments. Aaarrrgh. I'm going to go through a few days of depression now, reverting back to the Good One and keeping away from the Enigma until I've gotten over it.
In other news, Something really weird happened today. I was doing piano, and I asked for help on some little thing I wasn't sure about. I got really tense and kind of stressed for a moment, but then that went away. But, after that, I suddenly started to get this pain where my jaw feels like it's going to explode and my face is going to burst because I'm trying to stop myself from crying. I basically just burst in to tears for absolutely no discernible reason whatsoever. I had to go to my room and calm down and try to stop. It was utterly bizarre because I had no idea what could have brought it on, apart from me doing piano, but that was just what I was doing at the time and it doesn't really seem like it was to blame. It's confusing, that must've been why, but you know, it wasn't one of those things where you know why you are crying; this just came out of nowhere. From a subconscious part of my brain. It just went OH HEY LET'S START CRYING FOR SOME REASON OKAY? and then my conscious part was all WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL ='[
so um yeah
This is slightly concerning.
So anyway I'm going to go listen to AFI now. It's noisy. And that is good. And listen to Wolstenholme talking, and I will not watch the hullabaloo documentary. Nor will I play the sims.

I regularly have identity crisis's where I suddenly see everything in a different way and completely panic and freak out. So I stop thinking about it. I'm worried that if I keep thinking about it I'll probably go insane. I daresay ignoring such thoughts is a good idea.

Insufferable Troglodytes! Or some such thing.

Number of times mistaken for a guy: 10.
Hurhurhur. I have to wonder. That's only the number of times I have been aware that people thought I was a guy- something they would have said to me. Yesterday it was "are you two boys enjoying your holidays?" Oooh, it's bad when shop people say it. I feel bad and I have to get out of there. Don't really mind otherwise, but I just feel really weird having the word "boy" associated with me because it doesn't feel right at all. I'm a girl, people! Despite any evidence to the contrary.
So yeah, if people who have talked to me think I'm a guy, I wonder how many people who just see me walking along think I am a guy. Hahaha. Personally I don't really see how- my face doesn't seem particularly guyish. It seems more, girlishly structured. I guess it's just the hair and the clothes. XDD

I am reading 1984! Finally. That sure angers up the blood, much like reading Animal Farm did. Hahah. There's something about those books, you know the ideas in them that make me want to go AAARRRGGH WHYYY!!!!! HBNARRGHGSKANAGHAE!!!!! Those stupid pigs in Animal Farm and the insane! stuff in 1984. Daaaaaaaamn. Truly impossible to do anything! But the freakiest part was when that guy who was working on the dictionary goes on about how the language will eventually be structured to be only a few small words, and that all of history and literature from the past would be erased, no shakespeare, no nothing. Just a few root words and their stemming words, ie, "good". Becomes ungood, or bonusgood or superbigbonusgood (or whatever it was) replacing words like marvellous! wonderful! fantastic! and so on. And the fact that people actually go along with this and manage to be completely brainwashed by this insanity and the insensitivity towards violence, AAERRRRGGHH!!! Anywho, it's great. Although Winston sure was a super jerkass kid. O_o

ANYWAY!
I verily much want Muse to hurry up and release the next parts of the United States Of Eurasia song. But I guess I have to be patient while people run around the Eurasian landmass at geostrategically placed points... or some such thing. XD
Welp. I guess that's all. Fascinating I know.... =D


Edit: WOAH. WOAH. Okay. So United States Of Eurasia starts with this soulful piano, some violins and whatnot in the background, some gentle lyrics, tra la la, very nice to listen to. Presently some quiet drums start in the background, just a slow rhythm. But this only goes for about a minute, and out of nowhere- he gets angry, crescendo!! loud!!!! HIGH PITCH, WAILING GUITARS!!!! Basically Bohemian Rhapsody if you need any idea hahah. Matt's voice is very strong! Loud drums and then we suddenly get this bizarre arabian thing going on, some clapping/clicking stuff (they recorded in a bathroom?) thudding drums WHOOOOOOOO!!!!
And that's all for now. ARASGHASGKASGLAKSJGWORIHT
=D

Aw, hell diddly-ding-dong-crap!

I'm in yet another "thinking about my issues" mood.
See, it all began perhaps an hour ago or so, and see, I was emptying the dishwasher and whatnot and thinking about all this stuff in elaborate terms, when yet again it has come to the point where I don't have to talk about it on this blog as it has all been cleared up in my head. Hoorah. (As the point of thinking about all those things was to talk about them in the blog, but then I think about it enough in my head that I no longer have to discuss it. I'm going to discuss it anyway, as articulately as I can. Damn, I didn't think "articulately" would be an actual word. Anyway.)
Mmm, Whittaker's is deliciously good chocolate. Take that, Cadbury!
Here's something. I never ever ever talk about piano. Ever.
So today as I was sitting on the couch, whoop-dee-do, my brother is saying something to my ma. I didn't notice what, but my ma responds with "that's because you're a good piano player and she's a crap one." I waited a few seconds before saying, "what did you say mother? What did you say? What did you just say, mother?" She didn't know what I was talking about and I wasn't about to press matters.
See I've been playing piano for nine years, my brother is four years younger than me and at the same level, just a tad further. He has a different piano teacher to me; one who progresses a lot faster.
I've been playing piano for nine years, and never once have I received a shred of encouragement, not a dot of motivation. Just told, hey there play piano- quit bashing the keys! UR DOIN IT RONG.
So I wanted to quit so much, so so so much and yet I couldn't. I could not ever ever quit, there was no way. I couldn't. And I still can't and I don't want to.
Also, I've never had motivation to play till now; which is why I find it so difficult to be motivated anyway. I'll go, "ALRIGHT. I HAVE A GOAL. LET'S DO THIS...aww, jeez, I can't be freakin' bothered. I'll do it tomorrow."
I'm that way with everything, actually, but that's irrelevant.
Sooooo, I guess you could say that motivation is Matt Bellamy? Okay, okay, yeah the dude from Muse and everyone is sick of hearing me talk about Muse- but if someone I knew liked Muse as much as I do and talked about them with me, maybe I wouldn't go on about them all the time to everyone else as much. Srsly though, the only songs my friends know by them are Starlight and Supermassive Black Hole. Before I perused the internet to find out about Muse, I thought Starlight was a gorgeous song! That piano, guys. Great! But turns out it's kind of hated for being a single, and being more simplistic, generally considered pretty sucky to the max. Well daaaaaamn. Anywho, I facepalmed nontheless when the only songs my friends knew were Starlight and SMBH. (Excluding Alice- I know you know more songs XD)
So yeah, Matt- he's a mad lunatic genius and sometimes I worry about him- he seems deadly serious about some of his conspiracy theories, but that's okay. XD
But yeah, he's a ridiculously good pianist and okay, I feel like I'm too old to become a good pianist anymore, because I'm 15 and that's always too late to become an amazing talent, you have to be four years old and playing FANTASIE IMPROMPTU, or, 15 and playing FANTASIE IMPROMPTU. (Uh yeah there's a girl in my year who can play that. Hmph.)
And, so far, he's the only inspiration I've ever had to keep playing the piano. And, okay, I do suck at the piano- all my friends will go "NO YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE AMAZING!" but that's only because they don't play piano and they're my friends. So yes. I do suck. But for my mother to say that in front of my face while not actually talking to me is kind of the worst thing for anyone to hear. Maybe I do suck, but it would be nice to hear some encouragement once in a while! Some sign that you want me to continue playing!
So sometimes when I get most inspired to do stuff, to BE THE BEST EVER AT EVERYTHING I DO, I'm fueled by anger and spite. Which is probably not good but, thing is, it always fades and I lose the moment, the moment of I'M GOING TO SHOW EVERYONE, THE BASTARDS.
Because I do that a lot, and I always don't do it. But now I feel that I have to do something, I've already lost the will to try hard but I can't. I have to be better so that one day, I can go: "I'd like to say thank you, to my friends, for being awesome most of the time, thanks to my father, my brother, you people are alright. Thank you for choosing me to have this, uh "good at the piano" award. Cheers."
And for my mother to go- hang on. Where's my thanks? And to confront me later.
"Oh, your thanks? Yeah. Thanks, ma, for never believing in me. Thanks for never helping me. Thanks for making me do my best with no help whatsoever. I had to drag myself up from the pit of sucky all by myself with no encouragement, no words, no help. Thanks."
Thanks a lot.
That's not sincere, by the way. In case you hadn't noticed, I was being somewhat sarcastic.
I could go on, talk about other things, about how sometimes I am deeply angered by stuff, but I tend to do that a lot, and you know, start delving in to all my ISSUES AS A PERSON and why I hate it whenever anyone does anything. But I won't.
I think I'll just leave it at that, whoop-dee-freakin'-do.

Awesomah Powah!

I watched 2001 A Space Odyssey! It was awesome! I should stop saying awesome.
Today we were listening to music and sorting through old cds and whatnot and I found a cd of Mario Lanza. AHAHAHAH it was so funny. And at the moment I have Citizen Kane in my household for watching which has Orson Welles in it. The great tenor, Mario Lanza and that hideous man Orson Welles! HAHAHA Heavenly Creatures. It's like a big joke in our year, talking in a super posh English accent and saying "it's all FRIGHTFULLY romantic!" and in terrible NZ accents "I think your drawing's FANTASTIC!" hahahahahah oh man. Okay- that would have made no sense.
I went on Runescape (hahaha NERD) and it was boring funtiems. You can sit down now! But seriously- I'd been waiting for that for years. Pfft. Runescape isn't really fun any more because none of my friends go online ever and also I never talk to them. Buuuuut yeah. Someone gave me 10,000 moneys for free! Uh, whoo-hooo?
Holidays. WHOOP-DEE-DO! Lots of lazing around for me.

Oooooh, it's now 12.24 am and I didn't notice. (I typed this hours ago and left it here.) anyway, goodnight I guess.