Sorry about this.

Extreme emo ahead you really don’t have to read this but I really had to post it.

Well earlier I planned on posting a cheerful blog
Never mind that
So you know what I hate?
At my school, there is this thing called GATE. It stands for gifted and talented education or something dumb like that.
Anyway, as you might have guessed it’s for gifted and talented children
And I freaking hate it.
I mean nothing against the gat kids, a lot of my friends are in that program thing. But the problem is the way they flaunt it around, sending emails and stuff. No I don’t mean the kids in it, I mean the teacher people. They’re all like “ooh blah blah gate children blah blah blah look how great they are they get to go out of class to do advanced stuff because they’re so smart and obviously their skills need honing because they don’t know how to use them!”
Oh great. So basically… who gives a crap about people who aren’t gifted because they’re gonna be failures anyway! It’s like if you don’t have a talent or extreme skill these days, you are going to end up in the slums with five kids and a job selling grease.
I know my opinion is probably incorrect but it still angers me a lot.
Of course, it reminds me of a quote.
“We both know these children have no future!”
thanks, thanks a lot. It’s great for people who are generally not recognised and don’t stand out as geniuses. Whoo. Hoo.
And not to mention those overachievers who cry if they get a merit, or don’t get all e’s in exams, and who panic that they are going to fail in life if they don’t study more, and these are the people who are admired by all and always win prizes. Generally these people are cool but stop it you are really depressing the people not as smart as you.
So yeah, to achieve in this world you have to have an IQ of 200
That’s really great
I feel so hopeful about my future
I don’t even know why I’m taking writing, I don’t care about writing or reading these days as much as I used to… also we are making picture books apparently and I care not for picture books.
I would like to be in a band, but I am a girl in new Zealand. Yeah I’m gonna gain worldwide success aren’t I?
And in other news, everyone wants me to quit piano.
That’s great and all it sucks that you have to pay and you think it’s the easy way out but you’re not the one who has to quit are you?
The comp has been taken away from me because I haven’t said a word about it
I just can’t talk about it (but I am on the comp as they are all out)
They don’t seem to understand that I can’t just decided like that (oh hey what do you know, “I can’t decide” I bought that cd today.)
They think I have no thoughts on the matter
That I don’t care about piano at all and that I hate it and should just quit
Firstly I do hate piano.
Secondly I can’t quit
I just can’t
Because… I hate it and have never liked it but hearing others play the piano really well is still quite amazing. And I would like to be like that but never will be, so yeah what is the point if it’s not going to help me in life.
But I feel like I can’t quit, it’s something that even though I hate practising and never play when I’m not practicing I still like it and people think I’m alright at it
I am alright at it, not great in fact I’m useless compared to loads like those four year old kids who can play huge complex pieces
And you know I never really get compliments otherwise it’s not like I’m a genius photographer like Alice, or good at art like Rekha and the van shaards
I can’t write like Lucy or Laura
I’m not a genius like Rebecca
I don’t understand maths and I get confused at chemistry
Science I like but I’m hardly a master
So yeah.
Also I feel like I’d be letting people down by quitting, I mean I have played for so long it’s just stupid to quit now.
And I want to so much. But I can’t
And I still hate my school for pampering the smart kids
I feel like I have to prove I am smart, I just feel like winning prizes in prizegiving and everything
And another thing, I have no other school related activities I am in. If I quit piano then I have absolutely nothing to put on my other activities blah blah blah sheet even though I do guitar and swimming.
I never win awards
I haven’t since year three.
I guess you could say I am writing this for attention and sympathy but I’m not
I wrote this on a word document for starters
And well I’m just going to post it and I do not want attention or sympathy even though I’m putting myself down in the sort of way people do when they want sympathy blah blah blah
I don’t always feel like this but you know how people get
It’s like the name of that nirvana song “I hate myself and want to die”
Congratulations on naming a song that everyone in the world will relate to at some point in their life. Gold star for you.
So well you can just ignore this and that would probably be better
And I should maybe not post it but really
I want to know what to do about quitting
I know Alice quit flute and felt kinda the same way
I think
And I got a cd for my dad I was going to play it for him when he got home
But when he got home I was in my room utterly miserable
Thanks for ruining a good day everyone.
That is all. Sorry for the extreme emo
By the way, I don’t usually get like this. Usually at night time or when sucky stuff happens. It’s like the name of that paramore song “for a pessimist I’m pretty optimistic”
I don’t actually really listen to paramore though.
…they like Twilight.
It doesn't matter though. In the end I'm going to end up quitting.