So obsessed

a placebo? nah, nah wrong word. It is more like... weaning myself off fandom obsessions.
See, this place... I have decided very rapidly that it is great. I have way too many thoughts inside my head, hopefully I can learn to put them here so I can stop thinking thinking thinking so much! I mean, all the time. Aaand... you know, I kind of am hoping that I can get better and organisation and stuff, sooo... man I am tired. Of course, I cannot really stay away from this place. Already. Heh.

But... man, it is so great, and, lately I have been kind of worried because I will be thinking and suddenly panic like, what! I have nothing I am obsessed with right now! And it is kind of worrying, I feel kind of lost. But I think, I am getting more away from fandom, and this makes me sad and happy. I have always been a lurker, never really participating, it is just not my thing. I mainly just look at fandomsecrets. And out of my friends, I am the one that knows the most about fandom and fanfiction, but I almost never ever read it. It does not seem to work for me, I prefer to daydream and squee by myself. Aaaaaand, well, I guess I will always be a part of it in a detached way, but it takes over my life and I want to be able to study better and get homework done on time and whatnot. Yeah, see fandom seems to be my priority and I would like to change that. It has improved my life and also destroyed it in a way. And I think I am already changing.

So that is good. I think, if this can be my new obsession I can get all the things cluttering my mind out of the way, and become a more relaxed person. I mean, I do not stress or anything but sometimes I worry and fret too, you know. =P Just not about exams, more about... I dunno. Well, I love my little fandoms and I will always be able to go back and, in fact I will not leave that would just break off some of my heart, man. But.... well I feel confuzzled now, today has been too taxing on my brain, I have too much time to think about random things than school learnings. So, I am learning to leave it behind in a way I am still there. I admire people who can manage their time between interwebs, school, homework and study and music lessons/sport really well. They have a good skill. And, well I hope to improve my life a bit more.
Well great a depressing post already, did not really intend for it to be that way but I feel just good about stuff.

GOOD GOOD GOOD
And, man, I kind of have a thing for tv shows. Not tv itself, but tv SHOWS. Yeeaah... cannot really talk about most of 'em for several reasons, bwahaha, I am kind of messed up.
But who is not eh?

Am I too optimistic sometimes? MOOOOOODSWINGS...
My head hurts. XDDD
AAAH MY HEART FEELS EXPLOSIVE
I am not sure why. ASDFHALGDHAGHASGAMBOGHAUGAWHRIHG
Sorry, I dunno BLERG BLAHRAGHAGH AIJG the world is strange I gotta go now before I kill something happy yay oooooooooohoadgfai hsgo ha I HAVE TOO MUCH ENERGY, I HAVE TO RUN OR SOMETHING

Next song: 4 am by Our Lady Peace